Don't Wait to Feel Confident to Decide

“Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” ~Mark Victor Hansen A common myth is this idea that you must first feel confident before you actually decide what to do about the gap between where you are and where you want to be. You would not expect to decide to play the violin and then be able to play as soon as you pick the instrument up. It takes time to learn the skill, get the feel, and develop the passion needed to be a good violinist. Anyone who achieves this status made the decision to do so, at some point. But the truth is that many, far too many capable and talented people, fail to make such a decision, because they lack the confidence and think there is something inadequate about who they are or what they have to offer. They fail to harness their innate gifts, or “soul currency,” to create abundance in their lives. It does not have to be this way! For one thing, our very educational system does not support us to feel prepared to do so. We are tested and re-tested and compared to and relegated to classes that make it clear where our deficiencies lie. Studies show that 2/3 of Americans have low self-esteem, and a longitudinal study of American school children shows that in first grade, 80% feel good about themselves, and that by the time they are ready to graduate from High School, only 5% score high on self-esteem. With all that low self-esteem, far too many people, and women in particular, feel equipped to achieve a limited amount of freedom, satisfaction, praise or wealth from what they do with their lives. If you really accept the fact that how you see yourself, and thus the value you place on what you have to offer, is up to you, this is the first step to realizing your very purpose on earth. You always have CHOICE. You are RE-SPONSABLE—able to respond from a place of FAITH that you have a reason to be here. Confidence is an evolving state of being that increases over time once you have made the decision to be a true co-creator in your own life. You decide affirmatively to say “YES” to the fullest expression of who you are—and the support you need will be there. FAITH is the foundation for confidence, not the other way around. As confidence grows, so does your FAITH, and visa versa. The Good News The good news is that you have been preparing to fulfill your purpose all along, since a very young age. You have been experiencing a particular aspect of what I call “the insistent urge of the Divine to express itself on earth,” through you. You have consistently been paying attention to certain interests, sometimes out of unmet needs. Mastery comes when you are intentional about where you put your attention, and do not let lack of confidence get in the way of your true purpose. Maybe you were a little girl who put on fantastic shows for your family or friends, using your hairbrush as a microphone, or a little boy who took things apart and put them back together, with amazing ease and interest. Ask yourself what it is that you have always loved doing, and you will be degrees away from your purpose. If you are truly blessed, you will have accumulated some confidence about certain skills along the way. That is not true for some people, who need to be reminded or even shown the very skills they have developed. And quite often, you have been wounded around the very talent or skill you have been developing. A criticism or comparison to someone else, or even insufficient validation of your gifts can contribute to a lack of confidence. Again, confidence is borne of FAITH—faith that you are here to express something very specific, in a clear and conspicuous way. You have your own “manifesto,” which comes from the Latin word, manifestum: to be clear and conspicuous. What You Must Dor You need to be able to: BELIEVE CHOOSE BE RE-SPONSABLE (take inspired action) Ask yourself where you are getting stuck. Is it around your ability to BELIEVE. Then your FAITH needs to be strengthened. Is it around being able to CHOOSE, then you need to find your YES! Is it around being RE-SPONSALBLE, then you need to release an unmet need or hurt, and FORGIVEsomeone, either yourself or someone else. Talking about it is not the same as doing it. “If you know something but you’re not doing it, then you don’t know it.” ~T. Harv Eker There are no good reasons—only excuses—when we refuse to decide. And there are many reasons you can release, once you do decide. In fact, if you really want to heal unmet needs, and throw excuses out the window, start doing what you have said you want to do for a long time. You will feel so good about yourself, that your confidence in yourself will blossom!!!!! Whether you place value on those skills, is up to you. Whether you want to “monetize” that skill, or gift, is again, a choice. You may not know how to do that, but you would not expect to become masterful with the violin, or any other skill, if you did not have a teacher, coach, mentor, or some guide who can support you in becoming masterful. You must make the decision before the teacher can support you.