How to Celebrate Mother's Day with Emotional Intelligence

I am a mother. I had a mother. I write about emotional intelligence. There is nothing more emotional than "mother."

Be prepared to welcome some visceral emotions. We depend absolutely on our mothers for survival, and this sort of feeling, or instinct resides in the reptilian brain, hundreds of millions of years old and 'set' to keep us alive. Therefore it sends very strong messages.

Be adamantly and relentlessly forgiving. Mothers are only human, but because of our absolute dependence upon them initially, we expect incredible things from them and are mightily distressed when they don't occur, as if our lives depended upon it, because at one time they did. For the times your mother failed you, forgive her. For the times you failed as a mother, forgive yourself.

Set your Intentionality – however the day goes, how do you intend to celebrate and feel? It’s up to you.

Celebrate with Personal Power. Don't expect your children, husband and other relatives to read your mind. If something's important to you, speak up. Make requests!
If you plan a celebration, please verbalize to the kids what you're doing and why so they can learn EQ. For instance, "I love Mimi so I want to get her a gift. I know! I'll get her perfume. I know she'd like that although I don't. When we give a gift, we think about what the other person would like, not what we’d like. What do you think Mimi would like?" (If your son says "a car," your work is cut out for you. :)

And stay flexible. For many this will be family affair, and more and more this means multicultural, with different time frames, manners and customs. Keep your knees bent, think ‘open house’ and put a pot of stew on the back burner.