Eldercare at home – the questions you need to ask

You know it’s time. Perhaps Mom can no longer use the bathroom unassisted. Maybe Dad can’t remember to turn off the stove. Even worse, maybe Granny had a debilitating stroke. Whatever the situation is, it’s time to find a new caring for aging parent strategy.

In a perfect world, eldercare at home conversations would happen when your parent is still physically and mentally well, allowing him or her to take part in the discussion. You can learn whether they’d prefer to be in a community setting, such as an assisted living facility, or if they want to live with one of their children. When caring for an aging parent, these discussions are a critical way to show them not only the dignity and respect they deserve but it also helps them understand that their wishes are valued.

If you’re considering eldercare in your home, this list will guide you through the questions you and your parent should be answering.

The financial
1. How will you and your parent afford eldercare at home? How much extra income will you need to care for him or her?

2. Will you be able to provide care when you and your family are away at work or school?

3. Can you afford to lose pay if you must stay with Mom during a doctor’s appointment or an illness?

The physical
1. Is your home large enough for you to start caring for an aging parent?

2. Is your home safe enough for a senior who might have vision, balance, or coordination problems? Will eldercare at home require you to make changes to your house? For example, is there a way to get Dad safely up the steep front walk?

3. Will you be able to handle the not-so-nice aspects of personal care, such as toilet duty or bathing?

4. Will your family members be able to physically handle the challenges of round-the-clock eldercare at home? For instance, will you or a spouse be able to lift Dad into the shower stall?

The emotional

1. Can your family handle the emotional strain of eldercare at home? Or will it be compounded by other issues, such as caring for your autistic daughter or dealing with your spouse’s recent layoff?

2. Will you be able to handle the emotional demands of caring for an aging parent? Can you cope with the fact that you might miss your annual beach trip because Mom’s unwell?

3. Can you build a support network to help you provide eldercare at home? Do you have friends who can sit with Dad while you take a walk? Will a family member stay with Grandma while you take a long weekend?

4. How will your young children cope with the decline of a loved grandparent?

5. Can your family get along? Or will caring for an aging parent thrust you into a drama worthy of reality TV?

Don’t wait until it’s too late to start creating a caring for aging parent strategy. Begin asking the questions today that will help you make smart decisions tomorrow.