Emotional Intelligence vs. Mental Masturbation

The ability to be articulate about emotional intelligence does not translate into actual emotional intelligence. This time of year, the upsurge in mental masturbation masquerading as “consciousness,” prepared for and presented to the mainstream monkey mind mentality buying into the latest new cage drivel. Meticulously and manipulatively marketed to vulnerable women who would be led to believe that there’s a set formula to use in order to attract a “conscious” man and then form a “conscious” relationship, as though there’s some newly discovered secret being exposed.

Ladies, listen up. Your consciousness grows, organically, from within, when you stay true to yourself. If you’re off center due to substance use (“conscious” or otherwise), illness, peer pressure, loneliness, low self-esteem or any other reason for leaning into popularized rehashes of patriarchal role-based theories and as a result follow those instructions, you are being LESS than true to yourself. Whatever interactions and relationships you attract from that distorted state of being will, necessarily, be aligned with that false projection created by your off-center vision. Stop. Breathe. Listen to your heartbeat. Put. The Pipe (or bowl, glass, spoon, whatever). Down. Stop distorting who you are in order to fit into a mold that you won’t even like and that isn’t even real.

If you are self-medicating in an effort to mask your insecurities or low self-esteem, stop. That relief is temporary – and you know this. Invest in your own life instead of just trying to get through the day, the week, the season. Occupy YOUR life with activities that YOU enjoy. Then, naturally, you attract individuals who are in alignment with YOU. Develop your relationships from that pool of people.

When you need support releasing the crutches holding you up and desire to build a solid foundation instead of lurching from one crutch-related experience to the next, then get that support. Where? Friends, family, meetings, church, community mental health, private therapy, dancing, qigong practice – whatever combination of tools you KNOW work for you and new TOOLS – not crutches – that you feel drawn to, with a CALM level of excitement. Develop your own interests. Invest in yourself.

When you want to find, “The One,” look in the mirror. Develop that relationship. Then bring your true presence into the relationships you already have in your life. Weed out the unhealthy ones. Prioritize the healthiest of those. Develop the healthiest of the new potential you undoubtedly encounter as you develop yourself. Then lather, rinse, repeat.

Wishing you a joyous, love-affirming February, whether or not you believe you have a significant other. Last but not least, there may well be others who are more significant than you realize. Pay attention. Start with eye contact. You with YOU. Then, rather than seeking something you think you don’t have because you want exte
al fulfillment, you will be happy, whole, and available to share that wonderful state of being with whomever you choose, at your own discretion. BAM!!!

Miracles and blessings,
Dr. Renee