***Empowering Parental Advice: “Grow Up. Move Out”
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I often ask successful people what was the best piece of advice they ever got from a parent. What words of wisdom carried them forward as they achieved their personal and professional goals? Responses such as "Don't take anything for granted", "You have to work hard and struggle for success" and "It takes money to make money" are among the most common. I posed this same question to Wendy, a woman I met at a luncheon yesterday. Her quick response was "Grow up. Move out." That was her Dad's mantra to her ever since she was a very young child.
Wendy had a good, loving relationship with her father. He is no longer with us yet his sage word of advice echo in Wendy's conscious every day. The wisdom has changed a bit over the years to 'Grow up. Move on." as Wendy is now a very successful financial planner and the Mother to two beautiful children. "Grow Up. Move out." encouraged Wendy to take full responsibility for her life. She allowed her inner child to grow up without fear and self-doubt while maintaining a playfully creative approach to life's challenges and opportunities. Wendy never empowered her Inner Critic, the part of her that has the ability to hold her back. She always relied on her Inner Wizard, that strong powerful voice within her that is pure intuition and the birthplace of inspiration to guide her. Whenever choices had to be made, especially difficult ones, Wendy remembered her Dad's advice, "Grow Up. Move Out".
And Wendy grew up and moved out fast! She was a respected high school graduate at age 15 and graduated college with honors at 18. She married a few years later and pursued a career in financial planning. Her husband was diagnosed with cancer when she was pregnant with their second child. Her husband did not survive long after the birth. "Grow Up. Move On." the winds of change echoed. So empowered, Wendy navigated the troubled waters of a young widowed mother building a new life for herself and her children. There were many many challenges to overcome. How would the children be cared for? How can she continue to build a career? How do you pick up the piece of a life shattered by such a tragedy? "Grow Up. Move On." Take full responsibility for what you want to experience moving forward.
People sometimes fall back into old childish patterns of behavior when triggered with a devastating experience. There is a tendency to crawl back to a place where you feel safe, feel protected, and can hide. This desire to grab for any internal comfort that you can find often empowers the Inner Critic, the voice of self-doubt and fear. This is the voice that protected you, helped you cope, in your environment when you were little. You are no longer a child and cannot move on if you are frozen in fear or doubt your abilities or what is possible for you.
Wendy moved on and formed a company with her Father to help others build financial wealth and security. It wasn't long before her father was also diagnosed with cancer. He died within a few months. "Grow up. Move on". Wendy continued to grow from this experience and moved on to become an advocate to empower widowed women to protect and enrich their financial future. Her word of advice to these women is, "Grow up. Move on." Wendy now teaches others who face the similar tragedies and challenges how to put one foot in front of the other, how to "Grow UP. Move On."
Wendy tells her story with a broad smile on her face. To many, it is a very tragic tale. To Wendy she has lived a blessed life. She continues to find joy and inspiration in her daily life. Each morning presents another opportunity to continue to grow and move beyond her current comfort zones. "Grow Up. Move Out." is the lifelong gift from her Dad that propels Wendy forward as she turns her dreams into reality.
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