Everybody’s Doing It… Why Not Middle Schoolers?

Birds do it, bees do it
Even educated fleas do it…

But Middle Schoolers? Say it isn’t so.

When songwriter Cole Porter penned his memorable lyrics in 1928 he was talking about "falling in love" not “making love.” Apparently peer pressure was a factor even back then as the song implies, everyone is “doing it” so why shouldn’t we do it too.

Fast forward eighty years and peer pressure, although still a factor, isn’t the only pressure on today’s teens and tweens. Thanks to the hormones in our food and milk supply, girls are developing at a much earlier age. Thanks to our image-obsessed and sexually permissive culture, girls are apparently “doing it” at a much earlier age also.

Middle Schools in Baltimore and Seattle are “doing it” and now Portland Maine is joining in. The New York Times reported that on October 18, 2007, the Portland Maine School Board approved, in a 10-2 vote, a proposal by the Portland Division of Public Health which would allow children as young as 11 to have access to the birth control pill and patch without parental notification.

“Obviously we want to prevent our babies from having babies. But these schools are missing the boat on what kind of programs they should be offering these kids. Sex is complicated enough – even for most adults, many who have spent years in therapy trying to make sense of their own sexual excursions of adolescence. Giving eleven year olds birth control is just any easy way out of a very complicated issue.” says Self-Esteem Expert and Teen Life Coach, Kathleen Hassan.

Hassan, who has been delivering programs to teens and tweens for the last decade on self-esteem and empowerment, says “schools need to be proactive – not reactive, and develop programs that foster self-esteem, self-worth and self-respect. We need to teach our kids how to connect to their inner-most power and help them to understand the sacredness of their bodies, minds and spirits. Anything less is just putting a bandage on a cancerous wound, and the ripple effect will be far worse than just kids having sex, as depression, addiction and suicide rates will no doubt escalate for these children.”nn###

Sidebar: Kathleen Hassan’s Parenting Tips for Building High Self-Esteem in Your Pre-Teen Daughter

1. Have “the talk” now. Don’t wait for your daughter to learn about sex from her peers or from the school mandated sex-ed program. Give her plenty of opportunity to ask questions and give her honest answers.
2. Help your daughter understand how sacred her body is. Everyone you allow into your private space becomes part of you energetically for the rest of your life. Break down the word intimacy; into me I allow you to see.
3. Sign her up for a teen yoga class so she can begin to understand that she is more than just her body but rather a divine combination of body, mind and spirit.
4. Ask your daughter to make a list of the qualities she would look for in a friend, boyfriend and yes, even in a soul mate so that she will never settle for just anyone who comes along.
5. Hire a Life Coach for your daughter to help her find her voice and power, unearth her innermost desires and dreams and make choices that will lead her in the direction of her goals.