Exte al Interactions Provide the Seeker a Mirror to His Inner Characteristics and Traits

What we see in others in many cases is a mirror to what we contain within ourselves. We understand what is taking place because we are able to receive the vibration and internalize it and translate it into something that resonates in our being. In Western psychology there is a concept called ‘projection’ whereby someone ‘projects’ onto another person those traits, qualities, motives or actions which one has within oneself, whether openly visible or latent.

For a spiritual seeker, this provides us a marvelous opportunity to view ourselves in this mirror, internalize the review and follow the thread to the root that we harbor. This gives us the chance to work on the issue within. We can then be grateful to the Grace that we are given the opportunity to see our weaknesses and faults mirrored in others if we have not yet gained the capacity for the inward view that allows us to examine it carefully and completely within ourselves.

The technique of the separation of the witness consciousness from the exte
al nature is a powerful means for this inward view. We gain the standpoint of the witness who can calmly watch our own internal reactions and responses as if they are exte
al to ourselves, and we can choose to support, or withdraw support from those movements.

If we take up a critical attitude and use our observation to try to control or change the other person, then we are simply veiling the truth from ourselves and instead of making progress, we are busy creating disruption or conflict with others who may, or may not, see things the way we see them. This is especially true for individuals who have fixed ideas about what constitutes “right and wrong” and who try to enforce these ideas on others, who may have a totally different view or level of conce
on these matters.

Sri Aurobindo writes: “Men are always more able to criticise sharply the work of others and tell the how to do things or what not to do than skilful to avoid the same mistakes themselves. Often indeed one sees easily in others faults which are there in oneself but which one fails to see…. The human mind is not really conscious of itself — that is why in yoga one has always to look and see what is in oneself and become more and more conscious.”

“Not to judge anyone but oneself until one can see things from a calm mind and a calm vital is an excellent rule. Also, do not allow your mind to form hasty impressions on the strength of some outward appearance, nor your vital to act upon them.”

“There is a place in the inner being where one can always remain calm and from there look with poise and judgment on the perturbations of the surface consciousness and act upon it to change it. If you can learn to live in that calm of the inner being, you will have found your stable basis.”

Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, Looking from Within, Chapter 2, Looking at Oneself and Others, pp. 42-43