Happily (and Hot!) Ever After

HAPPILY (AND HOT!) EVER AFTERn5 Ways to “Make” More Love in Your MarriagennLife’s daily grind can make you feel like the passion in your marriage is fading faster than Britney Spear’s Vegas nuptials. But love is not simply a matter of chance; it’s your choice. You don’t have to be “lucky in love.” You can “make” love in your marriage. nnJust as there are physical rules of the universe—like gravity—there are also rules for love. Just as the right diet and exercise makes you physically healthy; doing the right things with your spouse will make your marriage healthy. It’s a simple cause and effect—like cooking with a recipe.nnHere’s a recipe for rekindling the spark between you and your spouse and “making” more love in your marriage.nn1. Talk Charge. Talk to your spouse about something fun or frivolous 5 times each day for a minimum of 60 seconds.nnDo you remember when you used to just talk? Not about who’s going to take out the trash, pay the bill, or book the flight, but just talk to be with each other. Most couples don’t talk anymore—unless they have something to communicate, a decision to make, or a task to complete. But the most important thing about talking to each other is not communicating; it’s connecting. A “Talk Charge” is a 60 second personal conversation with your spouse about something non logistical.nn2. Touch Charge. Touch your spouse in a loving way at least 3 times each day.nnA “Touch Charge” is not foreplay or a sexual advance. A “Touch Charge” is purely for the sake of connecting at the moment of the touch.nn3. Date Night. Take your spouse on a date once each week.nnHere are a couple of important guidelines. On “Date Night,” don’t go to a movie or any other form of entertainment that requires you to face in the same direction. On “Date Night,” face each other. You are the entertainment. Also, don’t invite anyone else or go to anything social. “Date Night” is for you and your spouse only!nn4. Romantic Retreat. Take your spouse away with you for a minimum of 3 days and 2 nights.nnA “Romantic Retreat” can be a magical time to take long walks and long baths. It’s a time to eat in the middle of the night and make love in the middle of the day.nn5. Birthday Party. Plan an elaborate birthday party for your spouse; make them the ONLY guest.nnIt’s reasonable to plan an extravagant party when the invite list includes family and friends. It’s unreasonable to do so and then invite only one person. Be unreasonable. It’s very romantic.nnYou cannot build lasting love with one Herculean event. There’s no gift you can give, favor you can do, or letter you can write. The only way is to establish the right habits and do them consistently. Make talking, touching, dating, retreating, and partying habits in your marriage and you have a recipe for lasting love.n