Follow the Yin-Yang Energy and Hope for the Best!

My daughter has had a love affair with ball sports since any of us can remember. She’s tried dance, gymnastics, skating, swimming and even fencing but nothing seems to compare to her desire to hit, pass, chase or kick that ball! She’s not discriminating about the size of the ball either as long as she can interact with it in an all out aggressive way. This quiet, shy child of mine unleashes a beast-like energy whenever she competes for access to the ball at play.
Now, her identical twin sister, has little if any interest in ball sports. She’s just as athletic as her sister but doesn’t seem to share in that desire to interact with the ball at all costs. She enjoys soccer but less for the competition of it and more for the fun of it. Most recently she’s discovered a profound love for dance. Her body seems to commune with this desire and blends into a graceful motion at will. This ability to flex and bend for no apparent reason irritates her sister to no end and on occasion causes a rift that has something to do with being a “girly, girl” and arguing that dance isn’t a real sport anyway! Of course, anyone who has seen a professional ballet performance can tell you that these dancers are in no way joking around. This is another point of contention, however, when my daughter comes home with bloody toes from a strenuous point class and yells, “See, don’t tell me dance isn’t a sport!” And so it goes.
Simply put, my daughters are different from one another yet very much the same. They share 99 percent DNA but their spiritual paths seem quite different. One has the demeanor of a cat and gets around to things in slow motion while the other one is like a puppy chomping at the bit to play, play, play! One has dimples and has a collection of stuffed animals on her bed and the other one answers to parent chants from the sidelines of a basketball court: “Release the beast!”
What can I say, it hasn’t been easy raising the “yin-yang twins” but luckily their energy has blazed a fairly easy trail to follow. Afraid at times that they’ll lose their way, I try to bask in the understanding that God is ultimately in charge and loves them unconditionally. Easier said than done since one of my daughters was obsessed with vampires for awhile and now sees herself as a crime scene investigator. Guess which twin? She DVR’s anything with “crime”, “cops” or “CSI” in the title. Now luckily, I’m not terribly intimidated by her focus on the dark side of things because I’ve come to realize that she’s not really interested in joining dark forces but rather to eliminate them. At the core of her being, there seems to lie this genuine need to get at the “truth” of things. To her credit, she doesn’t seem the least bit afraid of the muckety-muck that she will need to trudge through to get to it. I wish her well.
My other daughter, though not the least bit interested in getting dirty, seems to enjoy being with others. Whether playing in the school band, singing in the choir or dog-siting, she lives to connect! She’ll do anything, even clean her room, to get a chance to “hang out” with friends or organize a gathering. Easier to raise at times, I can’t help but worry that she’s “too nice” and will allow others take advantage of her. I can only hope, I guess, that her sister will take her to a shooting range someday and teach her to shoot straight!
Whatever happens, I’ve learned a few things. I’ve learned that at their core they are about “truth” and “love” and my job is to get out of the way of that. And if I can follow their lead, I might even be helpful in keeping them on track. For me, this has been the hardest yet most rewarding part of being a parent. Knowing when to intervene and knowing when to stay away. I just hope I don’t get the two mixed up!