Mindfulness and Flirting: Seizing The Moment

Have you ever been called a flirt? nnGood for you!nnYou see, flirting is an excellent indication that you are Paying Attention. nnIn fact, it is impossible to flirt without being mindful. You can’t be all wrapped up in your thoughts, or distracted by worries about tomorrow. You are Right There, in the moment, picking up on subtle signals and dealing out your own.nnMindfulness requires these four steps:nn• Noticing something new (“Hmmm…he’s attractive.”)n• Making distinctions (“I like his eyes when he smiles.”)n• Shifting perspectives (“He dresses like a jock but he’s a music teacher.”)n• Staying fully present (“He’s flirting with me!”)nnFlirting requires “people” smarts—interpersonal intelligence—but it’s also a great opportunity to flex your spatial intelligence (seeing visual cues) and bodily/kinesthetic intelligence (picking up on body language and using appropriate touch to make a connection). A good flirt can scan a room and see all kinds of options for relationships!nnAnd it doesn’t have to be about finding your life-long—or even all-night-long—romantic partner. You can use mindfulness and flirting to help you create more meaningful connections in a playful way with your neighbor, your grocery clerk, your barista, even someone waiting next to you in line. nnDon’t think of flirting as something only desperately single people do. No, no, no. Consider it a tremendous exercise in interpersonal mindfulness. nnThe first step in flirting is noticing something. nThe blue of your waiter’s eyes? The necklace your dry-cleaning lady is wearing? Your child’s teacher’s smile? nnNext step: Mentioning it. A quick and sincere comment like “Nice shirt!” is enough to create a connection and open up a conversation—and really, that’s the general goal of flirting.nnMindfulness of others is a powerful skill that can help you build relationships in all settings. Flirting is nothing more than being aware of others and taking advantage of what you notice in order to connect. nnWho said mindfulness has to be quiet, solitary and inner-directed? It can be spirited, social, and downright sexy.nnNotice. Smile. Connect. Repeat.nnGet out there and seize the moment!nn