***Get Out to Get Hot – Pack Your Bags to Boost Your Sex Life

Travel is great medicine for boosting your sex and love life. Don't have the money or time? Don't worry. All you need to do is cut back on a few unnecessary purchases such as that magazine, or comfort food, or that movie that you don't really need - and then find a day and a half to be together. So, let's get started! STEP 1. HOW MUCH TO SPEND, HOW LONG TO GO! Yes, look at your calendar and your bank account to determine how much time you can get away and how much money you have to spend. Great getaways can be as little as a day and a half (that's one overnight), as long as three to five days, or more. Shorter getaways, however, are often just enough time to boost your mood and renew your love sex life! Longer vacations risk adding the stress from eating and spending too much, and from that pile of mail and messages when you come home! STEP 2. WHERE TO GO! Look together at a map of where you live, and preferably while you are undressed or in your romantic love-making clothes. Why? You want to kick-start your neural connections of feelings and anticipation with sexy feelings and with planning your trip! Where can you go that takes just a drive or a short flight? Don't spend your time getting there and back! You can either go back to a favorite place or a new place. Whether you choose a previous or new place, make sure you do something new, different, and exciting! Why? In your brain are neural connections and areas such as the amygdala which helps alert you to your fight or flight signals. Feelings of anticipation, excitement, danger, and bonding are very similar. Your heart races, you perspire more, and you can feel hot at the same time! And when you feel afraid, you are more likely to feel calmer when you are not alone! For example, think of all those survivors of events such as floods where people feel a special connection to the other survivors. Bonding is a survival mechanism that increases your chance of survival. New experiences arouse anticipation, excitement, and a touch of fear and anxiety of the unknown. So take advantage of these reactions by planning something new – and feel closer to your partner! STEP 3. WHAT TO PACK? Another way to take advantage of that mix of newness, anxiety, and bonding is to pack items that also stimulate these feelings. Go through your closet and bring those things that you haven’t worn in a long time, or products of "buyer's remorse" when you realized they were "not exactly you." Or, if you have cash to spare, buy a few items that you like but also push your comfort zone. Maybe you can try a new color or style. And be sure to pack sexy bedroom clothes! Make a pact to bring something that would surprise each other but in a fun and respectful way such as intimate body oils and lotions, and sex toys – especially if you have never used them before. You can also "pack" a different look by changing your hair style or color. Try different nail polish, too! The goal is to add some flexibility and a wider range to your behavior that gets you out of ruts. Think back on how difficult it was to look or act differently when you were a teenager. Travel gives you the chance to be different and freer. STEP 4. WHAT TO DO SEXUALLY? Now that you are prepped to be a new, excited, and bonded duo, you are ready to apply this bravery to your sex life! No more "sex as usual" for you! But plan ahead, even secretly. Ask yourself: What would I like my partner to do? What would I like to do? You might want to bring or purchase respectful, soft pornographic movies or books. Make sure these items are not demeaning to you or your partner. Remember, the goal is to spice up your sex life. New things accomplish this goal very well! You can also play various games of "pretend" such as:

• Act out favorite sex scenes in movies. You might say, for example: "Let's try that scene where they roll in bed together or that scene where they do it against a wall." You will soon realize how difficult these scenes are and you will end up laughing, loosening your inhibitions, and feeling closer!


• Play "Stranger in the Bar, and then the Bedroom." Pick each other up in a bar. Go back to your room or even a place behind a palm tree, and make wild love there.


• Play "Teacher and Student" and take turns playing teacher and student where you show each other what you would you like to do. Choose a side – teach or learn!


• A variation on "Teacher and Student" is "You Work for Me" where you take turns 'giving orders to your partner about what you want him or her to do.


• Act out scenes from the movies or books you brought or bought!

STEP 5. HOW TO KEEP THE SPARK ALIVE Before you return from your trip, write down each game or action on a separate piece of paper. When you finally get home, put the items in a nice jar, box, or other container. Take turns at least once every other month drawing at random one of the pieces of paper and doing it! A variation might be that when it is a person's turn to draw a piece of paper from the container, the person has the right to keep selecting until he or she finds a better choice. Have fun!