Giving An "A"

I was introduced to the idea of “Giving an A” when reading The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander. I loved the concept!

The authors point out that “the main purpose of grades is to compare one student against another.” They believe that “in most cases, grades say little for the work done.” When compared to other students, grades focus more on performance rather than mastery of the material.

How often do you measure your successes to another? How often do you compare yourself to someone else and feel less competent, less confident, or lower self-esteem?

On page 26 they say, “Michelangelo is often quoted as having said that inside every block of stone or marble dwells a beautiful statue; one need only remove the excess material to reveal the work of art within. If we were to apply this visionary concept to education, it would be pointless to compare one child to another. Instead, all the energy would be focused on chipping away at the stone, getting rid of whatever is in the way of each child’s developing skills, mastery and self-expression.”

They further state “We call this practice giving an A. It is an enlivening way of approaching people that promises to transform you as well as them. It is a shift in attitude that makes it possible for you to speak freely about your own thoughts and feelings while, at the same time, you support others to be all they dream of being. The practice of giving an A transports your relationships from the world of measurement into the universe of possibility.”

They talk about giving an A to people from all walks of life – to everyone and anyone.

Imagine speaking to people without needing them to measure up to your personal standards or expectations. Approaching people from a place of respect and appreciation of who they are, gives them the room and freedom to realize themselves and their unfolding potential.

Your exercise over the next 30 days is two-fold.

1. Practice giving an A to people in your life – both to people you know and strangers. Observe what you notice about yourself, the other person(s) and the experience as a whole. Write it down.

2. Give yourself an A. Do this as a buddy exercise with someone you are close with. Write a letter to your buddy (and that person will do the same) dated one year from the day you do the exercise. Using the example in The Art of Possibility on page 27, the instructions for this exercise are: begin the letter with, “Dear (your friend’s name) I got an A because…… and tell a story, in as much detail as possible, about what has happened to you over the year that is in line with this extraordinary grade. Place yourself in the future, and write the letter looking back over the year recording the insights acquired and milestones achieved. Write everything in past tense as if the accomplishments were already in the past. Fall passionately in love with the person you are describing in the letter!

3. Above all, enjoy the experience!

Copyright © 2005 Lorraine Cohen. All Rights Reserved