Goal Setting: RIGHT words = success

How is your goal setting progressing? Are you celebrating some, feeling guilt over others?
If there are goals you set a month or few weeks ago and haven't made progress on, then it's a great time to explore what's going on. As clients work with me and learn to set themselves up for success, they learn how to march (with confidence) towards their goals. By resetting our goals in a way that measures qualitative and quantitative aspects, we can fulfill our desires and feel wonderful about it.
So what happened? Are you making progress? Are you making joy?
Prospective clients often set unrealistic goals or word their objectives in a way that actually inhibits success. Let's look at some common examples of goals:
1. "I'll clean up the den."
2. "I'm going to work on my relationship with my mother."
3. "I'm going to exercise three times per week."
In all three examples, there are no qualitative measures. In other words, it's all about doing and not about being. Right now we don't know what "clean up the den" means. Let's assume it means sort through piles. That sure sounds boring to me and I can understand why it would be tough to get motivated. If we put the goal in context - I'll clean up the den so that I can entertain guests for an evening and host dinner parties - that helps to create motivation, but it still doesn't address what you'll experience while completing the task.
Are you going to clean the darned den? Or are you going to clean the den with a sense of exploration like Ponce de Leon? Or might you clean the den like Ty Pennington - envisioning what it will look like when the work is complete and experiencing the joy your guests will feel in this welcoming place. What does the joy feel like? Where in your body do you feel it? In all three scenarios the den will still get cleaned. How you feel while you're cleaning will be very different.
And what does "clean the den" mean anyway? If it means sorting through piles...then what? Further exploration might yield a meaning of "have 3 out of the 5 seats cleared at all times, 90% of the table surfaces clutter-free and feel like gangsta Martha Stewart secretly wearing Victoria's Secret (or maybe thinking you have Mr. Clean's pecs and sex appeal).
"Clean the den" might mean have a process for sorting mail and a place for everybody's things when they come in the door - things that need putting away immediately, things that need to be taken to another room or level of the house, things which require further action.
"Clean the den" might mean vacuum and dust and/or have a schedule for that type of cleaning and/or have a system for who does the cleaning.
What is one goal you set in January and with which you haven't made much progress? Look at how you've worded the goal and try to determine whether you clearly stated what it means. Can any of the words be further explained? Can the goal be described more specifically?
Is there an emotional component to the goal? What experience do you want to have as you work on the goal?
If these questions leave you stumped, give me a call and let's talk it through.