***Grandparent Sereotypes (Part II)

Insist on the grandparent image and name you want.

The words we choose can make a huge difference. Our names havena lot of connotations as well. We all have heard some pretty dreadful names. Jay Leno has great fun with wedding announcements with funny last name combinations. If you are or become a grandparent, you can choose a name, or someone will choose one for you. In books, movies, and on television, grandparent stereotypes are pretty dated. Get out your shawl and cane. Energetic grandparents might even bake cookies, fish, or garden. (They rarely have jobs.)

If you are comfortable with grandma or grandpa or a variation of them, fine. But be forewa
ed that these names tends to have baggage and may result in you feeling older and/or people treating you like you are older. As one book title put it, Funny, you don't look like a grandmother.

So what's the alte
ative? Just using your first name loses the respect and the distinctionthat this is a defined relationship and a special relationship. You can choose a name you like and ask the children and parents to use that name. That keeps the distinction of the name being unique to your grandparent role. If you never cared for your name or nickname, this is an opportunity to choose one you like. Some of the options include: n ~gran or nan (the shorter name connotes more action)n ~an ethnic term, e.g., Nana, Bubbe, Zeden ~your middle namen ~your baptism or bar/bat mitzvah namen ~any hero or character you have always admired