Healthy Relationships

What a challenge it is in this world today to create balance in a relationship. I use the word create because usually a happy relationship does not just happen, it takes work, creativity, and of course love. n My husband and I think very differently, we are very different. His thinking is pure logic, what you see is what you get. I jump into things, if my intuition leads me in a directio
I just go with it. Now this difference can create problems and it has. We solved it through much love for each other (I think the truth is we both are to stubborn to quit) but the following analogy has also enabled us to put things in perspective: To have a relationship with a doctor you don’t have to be a doctor or to have a relationship with a boxer you don’t have to be a boxer but you do have to have someone in your corner, cheering you on, supporting you on your journey. We all are looking for basically the same thing, someone to share our lives with and someone to love us just the way we are.
We all have our differences even though we are in a relationship. You are not always going to agree with the one you love but that is human nature, if we were all the same this world would be quite boring. We are always not going to understand the one we love but we have to honor the place our loved one is at, on their journey. Even though we choose to share our lives, our lessons and our growth in whom we are and who we have yet to become can be quite different. What a sense of humor our creator has.
Another challenge of a healthy relationship is your self. If we are out of balance in mind, body, or spirit how can we possibly have a healthy relationship with another. People overlook this simple, sometimes difficult to see solution to creating happy relationships. So often we are looking for others to make us happy but we first have to look at ourselves. Women in general give so much to others, we are the caregivers, and are usually the ones that hold so much guilt over whether we have done enough. We then forget to really love and nurture ourselves. In order to be loved we first have to love who we are. I have performed marriage ceremonies on women alone and have done group ceremonies for both women and men. This might seem strange but by holding a ceremony with one self and truly committing ones love of thy self finally opens the door enabling you to be loved in a truly healthy relationship. When you come into a relationship totally confident in whom you are and with total self love you are then ready to have a healthy relationship. You no longer are looking for another to give you what you are lacking. You are complete and therefore need nothing enabling you to love and be loved unconditionally.
There are many ways to create balance but the most overlooked is our diet. The foods we eat can play a major role in creating feeling of happiness or sadness. Did you know that chocolate chemically produces in our brain feelings of love? No wonder so many women are having a love affair with chocolate. It really does make us feel happy. You need to be selective on what type of chocolate which is why I eat and recommend raw chocolate or dark chocolate with a natural vegetable sweetener. Of course eating a processed sugar diet can cause bouts of depression and what I like to call dis-ease. But even eating healthy foods still may be causing an emotional roller coaster. In my book the Color of Nutrition I go into depth on this and other subjects.
Other ways to create balance within ourselves is to find our peace within, then you will be rewarded with outer peace. You can achieve this through many different ways, meditation, exercise, EFT,Reiki, yoga, sports, quiet walks and maybe reading a great book. There is no right or wrong way just find what works for you and do it. Once you have learned to truly nurture yourself then you are able to nurture others with out resentment. When you truly have peace with in yourself you are finally able to have a peaceful relationship.
If you feel your relationship is lacking in some way first stop blaming the other person and do an honest evaluation of your self. This society loves to blame everyone and everything on someone or something else. It is time to fix what no longer works and take responsibility for your own happiness first. Remember the person who looks back at you in the mirror is the only person who is responsible for your happiness. Once you honestly see who you are and why you are not completely balanced then you can move forward to change.
Living a life filled with gratitude and with a sense of humor, yes humor we have to be able to laugh. Stop taking yourself and life too seriously. Be open for change and growth. Relationships are work but they can be fun. Anything worth while is. Think about what a blessing it is to be with someone who loves us and whom we love on this roller coaster ride of a life time.nnn n nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn