How do you see yourself?

The other day I was talking to one of the strongest women I know and she said, ‘I’m a pansy. I never stand up for myself.” I was shocked. This was the same woman who refused to follow the crowd in high school.

You know that one person who always did what she thought was right even as everyone else was trying to convince her otherwise. Not much has changed since then either. She’s easygoing, but if she doesn’t want to do something, she’s not doing it… period!

She doesn’t yell or argue. She just says no. It’s one of the things that I’ve always admired about her. I couldn’t believe that she saw herself as weak.

Of course, we never see ourselves as we really are. Our vision is almost always negative. Only a few people see themselves as better than they are, but they’re few and far between.

One of the basic tenants behind the Compass coaching philosophy is that we are all born to be great. When we’re children, we know it instinctively. As we grow older, we forget it.

Maybe it’s because we learn how to fit in instead of standing up for what we really want. Maybe it’s because we’ve been told one too many times how worthless we are. Maybe we’re taught that discovering our greatness is selfish.

Whatever the reason, we lose that inner knowledge as we grow up.

On the other side of it are those that see themselves as better than they are. Truthfully, they struggle as much as those who see the negative because they expect things to just come to them. You and I know that life doesn’t work that way.

I think one of the keys to living a successful life is to find our own inner greatness. Not what people or society think it should be, but what we all know it should be…in our hearts.

You see, everyone has a different inner greatness. Some are meant to be famous actors and musicians, some are CEOs, and still others are the mom of the year, every year. Some people find their inner greatness digging ditches.

It doesn’t matter what you do, you’ll find joy just in the search. Then, once you get there, you will continue to grow and build and become a better and better you. It just continues to multiply.

Before you can do that, you have to learn to see yourself as you really are. It’s like when you look in the mirror and you only see your fat thighs or ugly nose. You know you have good qualities too, but you only see the bad…. Or vice versa.
It’s time to change that. Take a minute today to look at yourself in the mirror, both literally and figuratively. Write down the good and the bad. Make a list. For every bad quality, you must have a good one. Ask you friends and family for their input.

My friend that I mentioned earlier didn’t see herself as strong and I thought of her as one of the strongest people I’ve ever known. I had to convince her of it with examples.

When I started listing all of the reasons why I thought she was strong, she said, “but everyone can do that.” Then, I had to convince her that her abilities were unique. You have special and unique qualities that you don’t see as well.

Not everyone can do what you do. Before you can find your inner greatness, you have to see how special you are. I know you can do it!