How Many Rocks Are in Your Backpack?

I can hear your thoughts… “What? Rocks in a backpack? Why that’s crazy! Makes no sense to carry heavy rocks around.” But you are, whether you know it or not. When you hold onto bad experiences from your past and use them as excuses for your actions, you my friend ARE carrying around rocks in your backpack!

Want some examples?
• My parents never taught me how to save money so I’m not good at budgeting my money.
• Mom never hugged me or told me she loved me so I don’t know how to express my love for another person.
• Dad was an alcoholic and never was there as a Dad so I don’t know how to be a good Father.
• My parents split when I was little so I have troubles with my relationships. Since all of my relationships turn out bad, I’m not good at relationships.

I could go on and on with examples, however to what end? These types of excuses for your behavior are rocks that you’re carrying through life, holding you back, and weighing you down. Are they really serving you in moving forward in your life? Are you becoming the person you desire to be by holding on to these negative, damaging programs? I think not!

Shame, Blame and Guilt

You may be thinking, but it IS their fault. I was just a kid; I had no idea of what was happening. Let’s take a moment to examine the facts behind this. The key to remember is that everyone has programs that aren’t serving them, parents included. They are also a product of their past. Until a person truly becomes aware of the effects these programs have on their behavior, they go on through life thinking everything is fine…or…they use excuses too.

This means that people are doing the best they can with what they know at that time. Does this make someone a bad person? Not at all. It just means they don’t have the tools available to recognize and change these programs.

Take a moment to examine your life up to now. Have you been the best person you can be? Are there instances in your life that looking back, you would have done differently? Ah, I thought as much. Does it shed new light on your past & the people who impacted your childhood? Still confused? Still want to “blame” someone else for the problems in your life? Are you still blocking and thinking but, but….

Blame, shame and guilt are emotions that hold you back from moving forward with your life. Waiting for someone else to resolve your pain immobilizes you. The past is the past. Let it go, release its hold on you and strive to move forward with your life. You do this by forgiving your parents, even if they have not asked for your forgiveness, so that you can be free. Be willing to take responsibility for your life. Leave the resolution of the wrongs committed against us in the hands of the universe, releasing ourselves to live a life free of blame.

Lighten Your Load

Here’s the thing. You have the choice to continue on your path or change your direction. So, to be a bit blunt – “Get over it!” It hasn’t helped you up to this point to blame your actions on someone else, so why would you want to continue to do so. The most empowering thing you can do for yourself is to take responsibility for YOUR actions. Throw those rocks out, refuse to stay stuck in the past.

Take an inventory of who you are. Discover the areas where you want to create new, empowering actions. Be gentle with yourself. Accept ALL that you are. You are a sum of the good and the bad experiences. You are who you are today because of those. Embrace the awesome person you desire to become. Create your Dream Life. In short, love yourself as you want to be loved and create the life you know you deserve.