How to Build Self Esteem

Do you ever suffer from low self esteem? The Oxford English Dictionary defines “self esteem” as confidence in you own worth or abilities. So let me ask the same question a different way - do you ever doubt yourself or question your abilities? Because, if you do ever question your own value or capabilities, who is questioning whom? Who is doubting your self worth? And who or what is the self? Are you somehow a split personality?

Let’s get something straight right here, right now. No one can suffer from low self esteem – they can only imagine that they’re suffering. The concept of self esteem is a figment of the imagination of your personality. And, as we’re about to explore, personality – coming from the Latin word persona, meaning a mask – is a figment of the imagination too. In other words, if you think you’re suffering from low self esteem, you’re only imagining it. It might feel real, it might get you down, even depress you or stress you out, but, in fact, the whole concept of self esteem is a trick of the so-called “normal” mind. And, just because research indicates that at least 96% of us are “normal”, that’s no excuse for going along with a crazy idea life “low self esteem” – after all, the same research proves that the normal people is mad – their mind controls them, not the other way around.

And that is how “low self esteem” is created – it is created by the mad normal mind.

Let’s deal with your personality first. As I’ve already said, your personality is a mask. When you were young and impressionable, key events stuck in your mind. In other words, some childhood events were captivating enough for them to impress your subconscious mind. These “snapshots”, as psychologists call them, created your impression of yourself, way back then. But they stuck in your mind to the extent that nowadays, possibly decades later, they’re still alive and well in your subconscious, continually giving you an impression of yourself that’s way out of date. Add all those childhood impressions together and you’ve got your personality.

To put it really plainly, your personality is the sum total of all the things that were done to you and for you that made a big enough impression on you during your formative years. As a result, your personality could not be real! It is not even a figment of your own normal imagination, it is a mish-mash of the figments of lots of other people’s normal imaginations – your parents, your teachers, your friends. And it is this non-existent collection of skeletons in the cupboard that has the audacity to question your self worth and your capabilities.
Wow. How bizarre is that? There’s a ghost in your machine and you’ve never even realised it. As I said to someone on Sunday, your personality is a stone in your shoe that you’ve got so used to that you don’t even realise that you’re limping through life. And limping you are because, with the very best will in the world, your personality falls way short of the person you can really be. And, so, we’re back to you doubting who you can really be – that’s what low self esteem is about.

So, how about building your self esteem? After all, not only is it a question that I’m asked frequently, but there are hundreds of thousands of people Googling it every month! You don’t need to build your self esteem, because self esteem doesn’t exist – except in the illusory world of the personality, which itself is an illusion.

You need to go beyond your personality – a wonderful journey that will take you beyond the concept of self esteem, to a place where you will realise the nature of the real you. This is not some new-age crap that I’m peddling. These are facts based in psychology. What’s more, if you let yourself off the leash that your personality has had you on for all of your adult life, you will free up your innate energy – and quantum physics proves conclusively that the energy of the universe is responsive to your very own energy.

The research I mentioned earlier – about normal people being mad – indicates that normal people only put about 1% of their energy into their lives. Their personality effectively blocks their energy. That’s why normal people’s lives are “not too bad” – that’s why nothing amazing ever happens normal people. That’s why normal people question their self worth and their abilities – that’s why normal people think that they need to build self esteem.

You need to be abnormal – you need to sidestep your personality, just ignore it (it will eventually go away!!). You do that by developing your natural ability to invest more than 1% of your energy in the present moment, by paying attention, using all of your five senses, to the here and now. Nothing could be simpler and nothing could be more liberating. Believe me, it will lead you to a new understanding of who you really are and of what you’re really capable.