How To Control Stress

In my last blog entry - http://csillamoffat.com/acceptance/12/ - I discussed a self-improvement concept called acceptance without realizing what I was doing. To me self-confidence, self-esteem, stress control, these are all buzz words used in self-improvement courses or programs. But acceptance?

A Pandora’s box has been opened with this simple suggestion “accept yourself exactly as you are and where you are in this moment”. I interpreted this suggestion suggestion, acceptance of oneself and of the moment, as a powerful tool for centering myself – this is nothing new to practitioners of yoga. It is, in fact an objective of yoga. But this simple word, acceptance, has led me to do a great deal of ruminating about the repercussions of acceptance and I have come to the conclusion that it is the well-spring of all self-improvement.

You would like to have less stress in your life? you would like to have more confidence? more self-esteem? then simply start by accepting yourself, your day, your situation.

When you are in a state of acceptance you are at peace, you are empowered so there is no stress. You are OK with where you are. So let us just take this idea and imagine a very stressful situation. For example: you are late for a very important date – sounds like the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland – but there is nothing within your power to change that. There is a traffic jam due to an accident up ahead!

There is an alte
ative to getting stressed out. Yes, there really is. I suggest the following: take a deep breath and focus on the air going into your lungs and then listen to it coming out slowly. Do this three times. As you are doing this just say to yourself “I am exactly where I am supposed to be; all is well with me”. I promise you that you will feel relief. The stress level will have gone down dramatically. Don’t take my word for it. Try it!

Now you are de-stressed. If a driver honks his horn or gives you the finger you will not have a knee jerk reaction. He may be honking because he is on a mission. Perhaps his wife is in labour or his father has just been rushed to the hospital with a heart attack. You do not judge his conduct. You do not make any assumptions about his behaviour. You do not take it on; it is not about you. You stay calm. You stay centered. And you suddenly notice that your stomach is not all knotted up!
And I will let you in on a little secret here. It has been my experience that every time I approach a situation in this accepting manner it turn out perfectly. The person that I am to meet is also late or just then my mobile rings and am I being asked if I can come later or reschedule or whatever … but it always works out perfectly.

Use breathing to get you back on track. Learn to breathe slowly and deeply by counting to four as you breathe in. Feel the oxygen filling your lungs and imagine them expanding. Now count to five (if you can) as you slowly breathe out. Make a conscious effort to learn to breathe like this. Start first think in the morning as you are getting out of bed. Then do it while standing in the shower under the soothing water. It will become a natural reaction. And it is much better than stressing and getting high blood pressure and indigestion.