How to have a healthy relationship

Most people try to spend time alone when they have a fight with their spouse. As soon as they fight together everyone leaves the other and goes to their friends or relatives. Since both of them are still carrying intense anger emotions, they start mentioning each others mistakes in front of their friends who usually respond by telling them that they are right and that their partners are wrong.

Under the effect of such continues mind programming many relationships fail as both end up thinking that they are right and that being together is a big mistake. The same thing happens in long distance relationships, but this time the programming happens by friends because the other person is not available to defend himself/herself.

In long distance relationships the most critical activity you should be focusing on is preventing your partner’s mind from being programmed by the other people around your partner. Just as you have seen in the previous section, people’s opinions are usually biased and are heavily dependent on their own past experience, that’s why they may program your partner to leave you even if you were a good person.

In order to prevent such big problems from happening there are very important guidelines that you should follow. Make sure that:

• You never spend time with anyone - except with your partner if you want of course - after you both fight (I know it’s not easy but as long as you are carrying residual anger it’s going to be very dangerous to sit with someone else who can program you. If it’s a must then you must sit with the wisest friend you have, however, it’s still recommended that you don’t sit with anyone)
• After you have had a fight, don’t stop seeing each other for days, make it just a couple of hours, because just as programming can come from your friends, it can come from your own mind!! The more time you spend without your partner the more your mind will jump to conclusions that are driven by anger and fears
• If you are in a long distance relationship then video chat is a must
• As long as your relationship together is stronger than the relationship between each one of you and your friends then you are safe.

Lots of people will tell you that the major reasons for divorce are relationship dissatisfaction, financial problems, miss communication…etc and even though those people are right, they forgot one of the most important factors if not the most important which is being programmed by your friends and relatives.

One final advice I have for you, if you want to be treated well by others then you should treat them well too. If you hate someone to ruin your relationship by programming your partner then make sure you don’t do the same by programming someone else yourself.