How to Know When it’s Time to Say Goodbye to a Pet Cat
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It’s always a difficult choice to make; deciding it’s time to say goodbye to a beloved cat.
The heart of the dilemma is absent when a cat meets their demise through misadventure or a sudden terminal episode. While, being human, we search for ways we could have averted this situation, we did not directly cause it to come about.
When our cat is very elderly or very ill, we must make the decision. That is how we become tormented by doubts about making it.
But the very thing that makes this problem seemingly so difficult also contains the seed of what will soothe us.
It is a matter of responsibility.
Since cats live in a World They Did Not Make, we are responsible for supporting their lives from the very beginning. We gladly took on the responsibilities of mealtime, playtime, and cuddle time; yes, even litter time. Our reward was the enjoyment we reaped from their happiness and contentment.
We know what makes them happy. We know what makes them unhappy.
So when a course of unhappiness, such as an illness and the ensuing medical treatment, will not be short, and does not hold the promise of our cat regaining their health; it is our responsibility to once again, and for a final time, make our cat happy.
This is what gets us through The Decision.
There are many chronic conditions which involve some daily discomforts for our cat. Diabetes requires monitoring their diet and administering shots. Kidney disease can be handled with home infusion techniques. I’ve had several cats who required a daily pill or a bit of extra procedure, and could then be “normal.” In such circumstances, where the treatment itself is onerous, but brief; our cat can continue to lead their life. Veterinary science has many such management techniques, and I think that’s wonderful.
There are also blind cats, deaf cats, cats missing a leg or have some degree of paralysis; once they weather the precipitating incident, they are no longer in pain, they figure out how to negotiate the world, and they go on. We might feel sorry for such cats, but they do not feel sorry for themselves. They accept their condition; indeed, they may have known no other. These are not suffering cats.
But when we are confronted with a long, tricky, course of treatment with a low probability of success; we must remember that the cat’s feelings should take top consideration. A cat in a perpetual state of discomfort or apprehension is not a happy cat; even if they are still alive.
It’s not even a matter of money, though for most of us that is a sad consideration.
It is what we will get for the money.
A broken leg, a simple heart defect, or injuries caused by an accident can be repaired. Kidney disease, hormonal deficits, or neurological illnesses like epilepsy and senile dementia can sometimes be managed.
But if they can’t be fixed very well; if they lead to a lot of invasive followup, or need drugs with awful side effects, or even a best case scenario leaves our cat fearful and apprehensive of a painful attack or puts them in a chronic state of bewilderment and confusion– we must consider if we are no longer acting on our cat’s behalf.
We must always guard against acting out of our own desire to not lose our cat.
We are never happy about The Decision. But we should not be riddled with doubt about the rightness of The Decision.
We must act in the best interests of the cat.
So when we are faced with this situation, we can find clarity and peace by using our rational mind to weight the pros and cons; and using our emotional heart to ask, Am I delaying The Decision just because I can’t stand to say goodbye?
If we find truth in that thought:
It’s time.
Article author
About the Author
Pamela Merritt is a long time cat rescue person who loves to share her insights on cats. Working from the philosophy of the "mother of cat psychology," Carole Wilborn, she agrees that "cats have feelings." Once we work from that, so many puzzling cat behaviors become clear to us.
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