How to Raise Your Tolerance For Frustration

How to Raise Your Tolerance For Frustration The CEO walked into the meeting with the banknofficials requesting a line of credit of 2 billionndollars. He had the assets to justify the loan andnthe company had a past history of repaying all their loans. His application was rejected because the CEO lost hisntemper at a question the bank president asked. Emotion Anger is NOT caused by the words or actions of others,nbut how we REACT to those words or actions. We are all angry once in a while based on an accumulationnof things refusing to occur the way we EXPECT. Angry people do not have strategies to suppress their anger during important meetings. They are unaware anger deletes their ability to think rationally and organize their responses to others. Anger is an internal emotion high jacking our logic and reasoning. Anger convinces us we are right and others are intentionally sabotaging our goals. The Cause of Anger 1. “Do it my way, or it’s the highway.” This is often annirrational (emotional high jack) of our left hemisphere’snthinking skills of logic and reason. It leave our brain to run on an “irrational perception of reality”. 2. “You must do it my way or no way.” This is based on an“Low Frustration Point” and mindset. 3. All anger is directed at a person or event outsidenourselves. The first step is to question our expectation of others to discover if our sense of reality is realistic or unrealistic. 4. Distorted Thinking and faulty self-perception is the basis of most feelings of anger. There is an entire area of psychology called Cognitive Therapy devoted to it. Fight or Flight When we feel threatened by individuals and circumstances,nour Amygdala (Limbic emotional system of the brain) overcomes our prefrontal cortex, the reasoning structure of our brain. The result is anger and lashing out, not thinking of thenreaction of others. We are irrational and lose the power to empathize with others. Fight or flight causes major changes to our mind and body by increasing our blood pressure and releasing adrenaline into our bloodstream. We cannot clearly evaluate the situation. We think either defend or attack, not negotiation. Dehumanizing When anger takes over, others are seen as the “enemy” tonbe destroyed and conquered. We forget they have their ownnneeds and objectives. They are no longer ‘human’, but biting insects meant to be destroyed. Change Your Mental Imagery When we are angry our Sympathetic Nervous System is in control and flashes mental movies of violence and aggression. The first step to peace and relaxation is the replacement of these pictures to new ones emphasizing calm and peaceful mental scenes. If you activate your left brain by humming the B.I.N.G.O.nsong (Google: Bingo Song) your right brain stops excitingnyou with negativity movies of Fight-or-Flight. After two-minutes of Bingo relaxation, your Parasympathetic Nervous System (acetylcholine) takes over and your reason and logic return. It seems obvious when you are using your Pre-Frontal Cortexnof reason, logic and organization, yet in anger we forget nothers have the right to their beliefs, perceptions andnobjectives. Anger is a loss of left-brain reasoning, with dominancenof your Amygdala (right-brain) emotional thinking of “me, me, and me”. Now see in your mind’s eye the CEO negotiating with the Banker with a smile on his face and answering questions using his reason, logic and humor. That’s a winning strategy. Endword Impulsive words and actions are the basis of a need fornimmediate gratification at the expense of the feelings ofnothers. Anger is our irrational perception of reality, together with a low threshold for frustration. We cannot FORCE others to think the way we do through anger. When we attempt to use angry during negotiation, we fail and losenthe argument. Would it help you to read and remember three (3) books,narticles and reports in the time others can hardly finishneven one? Ask us about SpeedLea ing and how to 3x you reading speed and 2x your long-term memory. See ya,nncopyright © 2008 H. Bernard Wechsle www.speedlea ing.orgnhbw@speedlea ing.orgn-----------------------------------------------------------n n nn