How to Recover From a Relationship Breakup

Someone dear to my heart recently experienced the heartbreak of a relationship breakup. Of all painful experiences, there are few greater than the pain of separating from a loved one. In my life I’ve bee “fortunate” to have experienced 2 major relationship break-ups. I say “fortunate” because these experiences afforded me the deepest and most experiential learning I could ever ask for (despite the pai
I may have had to endure.) I’ve come to learn that each relationship, whether lifelong or temporary is a God assignment, sent to me for my greatest learning. The following points of advise are dedicated to that someone dear, who in time will be back to her spirited Self.

Grieve-Losing a relationship is a loss. Although no grieving process is typical, it’s important to recognize and process its 5 stages. Failure to do so may lead to a prolonged sense of confusion and inhibit your ability to move forward. The five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Give yourself time and be gentle with yourself. Leverage online resources to learn more details about the 5 stages of grief.

Pray-This is a time for guidance. Whatever your faith, ask for a miracle. In your asking, pray for healing within your mind. Ask God to heal the part of your mind that believes you’ve separated from Love. The pain of breaking up is in part because of a misidentification with the relationship as who you are, but that is error that may need correction. You are complete and whole.

Forgive-Forgiveness is the stuff miracles are made. This is often perceived as difficult to do because people tend misunderstand forgiveness. This isn’t about the other person, this is about freeing you from the mental dysfunction that may cause hurt. Sit down with a pen a paper and journal your feelings, both the good and bad. Follow it all up with a proclamation of forgiveness. Reclaim the power within you to stop reliving the situation in your head. You may have been hurt and betrayed in the past but through forgiveness you can transcend the pain of blame.

Atonement-Owning your piece and forgiving yourself will keep you from projecting and/or carrying guilt. Be honest with yourself. Acknowledge yours mistakes and contemplate what you’ve learned. Only when you’ve accepted and integrated the lesson will you ensure you don’t make the same mistakes again.

Watch your thoughts-The ego mind thrives in the belief that you are separate and without Love. It will recite the most ridiculous things in your head. It may say things like, “I can’t go on, I’m afraid to be alone, I’m a failure, I can’t live without him/her, Nobody will love me” and so on. These thoughts cut you off from the reality of peace and joy you seek. Be watchful and recognize them. Accept only thoughts that extend love.

Take care of yourself-Treat yourself to a good dinner. Reach out to old friends. Do something you’ve always wanted to do. Recreate your life as you’d like. This is a new chapter, how would you like it to read? It won’t be long before you look back at this as a pivotal time of growth. You will look back with an appreciation for what you’ve learned.