How to, Um, You Know, Like Spoil a Conversation

Last week I was listening to this, you know, podcast. The topic interested me: it was, you know, how to set goals. And one of the two speakers sprinkled, like, empty words as frequently as I am, you know, doing right now.

Listening for the goal-getting gems was, you know, like panning for gold. Nuggets were there, just hidden in a stream of, you know, like, distracting pebbles.

Enough examples? Point made?

What to do about it?

If you don't care how you communicate, and your friends understand you just fine, thank you very much, the answer is a big, fat nothing. However, if you want to

* communicate more effectively
* set a good example for your children
* get a job
* keep a job
* get a raise or
* get a better job, then

it's time to declutter your head. Give those empty words the boot.

How?

According to the Law of Attraction, what you resist persists. If you resist saying like, you know, and um, won't you say them more often? Possibly. On the other hand, those words are not going to waltz off by themselves. Noticing that they are a problem is the first step toward shooing them out of your head.

I called Hawaii's top presentation coach, Pam Chambers, for conversation tips. Pam suggested telling a friend or mate that you want to clean up your language. Then every time you say you know, etc., you fork over a buck.

No pain, no training.

That's inflation for you. Bad words used to cost a nickel. I used Pam's technique many (many!) years ago. I was saying helluva this and damn that all the time and wanted to stop. I talked my pepperoni-loving partner into participating by promising to spend the proceeds--a mere nickel a pop--on an Italian dinner.

Stressed by a horrible day, I once dropped fifty cents in the cuss box and let fly. That investment in my sanity would cost ten bucks today. Cuss words have inflated, too. Hell and damn sound harmless next to s#%$ and f*&!.

Yesterday I listened to a New York Times best-selling author talk about happiness, and guess what? Her sentences were peppered with, um, you know, like empty words. And then I listened to myself on the phone: "Does Jeannie have any appointments available Tuesday, like around noon?"

Shoot me now.