I love… Me!

Life coach, Jill Douka explains why in order to have a great life, it is essential to love ourselves and how to achieve it.

Who is the most important person in the world for you? This is one of the first questions I ask in coaching sessions or in our workshops.
Usually I come across answers such as, my child, my husband, my parents. However, if you are not healthy, well balanced and in good terms with your own self, is it possible that you are in good terms with anyone else? While in an emergency case, on an airplane, it is crucial that you put on your own oxygen mask, before doing it for your child. The same applies for our lives. It is important that we provide ourselves with time and space in order to be able to give back to the people around us.

Most of the people are wasting their lives, waiting to be loved by other people. But love comes the other way around. The first step, is to love ourselves and only then, we are able to attract other people who have the ability to truly love us.

The meaning of loving ourselves is quite misunderstood. Selfishness and loving ourselves are two terms that are often confused. Loving ourselves starts from self respect. It is important to respect our wants, needs and the moments we enjoy. It starts from us. It is unnatural to expect other people’s respect when we don’t do it ourselves.

The first step I can suggest, in order to get to know yourself and what is important to you, is the “Diary”.
Schedule 15 minutes, every day, at the end of the day for 20 days and write down those moments when you felt very well with a (+) and those moments that you didn’t feel well with a (-). At the end of these 20 days dedicate an hour of your time and see what you have recorded in total. Categorize the plus and the minus. On the top of a page, write “I Want”, on the top of another “I Need” and finally on the top of a last page write “I Enjoy”.
It is really important not to judge what you have written.
At the end, read what you have written and take 3 deep breaths. Congratulations! This way you know yourself so much better (the beginning of love) and you are able to communicate your needs more clearly.

For this exercise, you will invest 6 hours, as much time as you would invest to watch 3 movies. What do you say? Is it worth taking the first step towards loving… yourself?

Be Unique!

Jill Douka