Ideal vs. Real

Relate to this? A worker sitting at his/her desk and imaging how life would be better almost anywhere but right there - feeling unsatisfied with the present situation but also not knowing how to break free.

Now ask yourself: Why anyone would settle for the mediocre and mundane? True, there are often obstacles to happiness: responsibilities to family; not having enough money; not enough time; being too old or young; not having enough education and etc. But are these problems so impossible to overcome, or are they excuses to cover a stronger fear of change?

I believe it’s the latter reason. People can feel insecure about changing their established behaviours, yet despite maintaining those patterns for so many years the desire to satisfy yourself never disappears.

Psychologists have a theory regarding the ideal-self vs. real-self. The ideal-self (who you’d like to be) may travel the world, work their dream job or simply feel happy everyday; meanwhile the real-self (who you really are) may have never leave the house, work a dead end job, or wake up every morning in a state of depression. The greater the discrepancy between the ideal and real selves, the more unsatisfied and depressed a person is likely to become.
The little voice that dreams of better things doesn’t go away- so maybe it is time to start listening. How can you do that? There are many ways to learn the skill of changing but it is always good to start with one simple idea. For example: finding a new and better job. If you can manifest this one basic line in your mind, then that is the starting point of a great new challenge in your life.
One of my favourite ways of starting a new project is to brainstorm. I create a Mind Map that helps me see the idea from various angels. Here’s a quick explanation of how you can brainstorm a new idea.

First, the subject goes in the centre of the sheet, then around this you create four more areas labelled ‘Mentally, Emotionally, Physically, and Spiritually’.
From this point, allow your ideas to run in all directions – always keep in mind your goal and feel free to dream big.

Once your ideal-self has expressed its desire, this allows the real-self to have a better picture of what changes need to be made.

Mind mapping has been one of the best accelerated learning tools that I’ve found. It allows me to take my idea and create a concrete picture of what I want.

Fear is a chronic problem that can paralyze a person from ever moving forward. That fear is often developed at an earlier age, possibly during some difficult time in life or perhaps imprinted from the teachings of others.

Your hesitations and worries may not be overcome immediately, but trying exercises like Mind Mapping will help in changing your perspective. However, it is also important to establish a support system that will help you with this change. This can be your family members, friends, counsellors or coaches who can provide more tools for making your ideal-self less of a dream and more of a reality.