Inte et Relationships: Build Chemistry With Sparkling Conversation

Create a Space for Deep Listening and Sharing Email and online chat provides opportunities to discover communication styles and determine if there is enough chemistry to have a phone conversation or meet in person. In surveying my life coach clients about online dating, they report that they are more likely to meet a person off the Inte et with whom they have enjoyed deep online conversations. So, take the time to write longer emails or schedule regular chats that are long enough for both of you to share more deeply. Also, keep the ball rolling. If you begin a lengthy dialogue, then switch to emailing just a few short sentences, that can quickly kill chemistry by indirectly communicating a lack of interest to interact more deeply.nnBuild on the Success of Online Chemistry and Interactions You've enjoyed chatting and emailing and have decided to meet. Remember that in person there may be natural pauses and spaces of silence in face-to-face conversation. Moments of silence allow an opportunity for both people to listen and respond to the language of energy and body talk, forms of non-verbal communication that are often deeper than the language of words. For example, a female client reported during a first meeting, her date paused in conversation and gazed at her. He smiled, breathed deeply, then commented, "Wow, you're just so beautiful. I have to take a moment to sink into this experience of being here with you." She thanked him for the complement and allowed him that space of silence. They sat quietly and simply smiled at each other. In those moments of silence, volumes were communicated. Chemistry deepened. When they continued the conversation with words, what unfolded was rich, deep and more intimate than what might have occurred if they were chattering the whole time or talking online. So remember, although you may chat for hours online or email each other frequently, when you meet in person, not every moment needs to be filled with words. Allowing such natural pauses and space in conversation also communicates that you are:nn(1) Comfortable in your own skin and secure, qualities that can be perceived as sexy and attractive.nn(2) Comfortable with the other person such that you can simply relax in spaces of natural silence together. If you find yourself talking nervously to fill the space with conversation, take a deep breath and count to five slowly in your mind. Allow the nervousness to leave your body as you exhale. Remember that this is the person with whom you connected well with online, so build on that foundation and relax.nn