Is Fear Holding You Back From Achieving Your Goals? My Fear Led Me To Freedom

We often hear that people can be paralysed by fear. My ‘physical’ paralysis was one of the most enlightening experiences in my life.

I’d just arrived in Fiji on my own to attend a seven day personal development course. The other thirty-nine participants and I were warmly welcomed and invited to share an exotic lunch of traditional Fijian dishes.

Our feelings of tranquility soon dissolved, however, when we were told that our first challenge would be to climb a fifty foot power pole, stand at the top and jump to catch a trapeze! Yes, we would be harnessed and yes, if we had a medical condition we were invited to share our story. Great, I thought, my neck’s capacity to ‘go out’ if jolted, caused by a car accident years ago, would be my opt-out; but I knew deep down the real reason was my ‘fear of heights’.

My heart was thumping as we drove to the ‘pole’ location. After jumping off the bus the group was divided into two teams. People started enthusiastically to harness up, climb and jump to the sound of resounding cheers and screams of delight as they mastered the challenge. For me, the tall majestic palms surrounding the area melted into insignificance as my fear heightened. I was so scared I must have unconsciously been shuffling and moving around, because I found myself standing near a complete stranger, sharing idle conversation with him as the sun beat down on my trembling body. Perspiration drops fell from my head; as my anxiety increased, so did the drops.

One of the organisers walked over and I heard the dreaded words, ‘Rosemary, this is your last chance to have a go. We will hoist you up - no need to climb’. I felt sick as I asked my new found friend, Craig, to help me. Walking over to the harness area, I could hardly put one foot in front of the other. My feet felt as if they were covered with cement and without any warning, both my hands curled over like I’d been crippled with arthritis. With his arm around my back, Craig took me to the pole. I could feel his compassion as tears started to roll down my cheeks. I was terrified!

Minutes later it was over and I’d even managed to let go of the safety rope and hit the trapeze with my hand! I didn’t hear the clapping or the words of praise from the others as I sat on the grass, shell-shocked. I couldn’t believe what I’d just done!

I wondered ‘What did this mean; what had just transpired?’ My feet felt like cement and my hands were seemingly crippled. Was it a bad nightmare, one never to be revisited, or did it hold a message? I was too mentally and physically exhausted to think about it!

A couple of days later the answer to my questions came to me. Fear can paralyse someone from moving forward, and I had actually experienced this physically. My fear of heights was nothing more than ‘false evidence appearing real’.

This physical paralysis was one of my greatest lessons!

Footnote - My story is dedicated to Craig who tragically lost his life a few years ago in a motor bike accident. I’ll always remember his kindness and quiet strength which I intuitively felt when I asked him for help.