Is Jealousy An Obstacle Preventing You Surviving An Affair?

After you find out about the affair, do you feel like you can not trust your spouse again and even the smallest hint of betrayal is making you extra-vigilant? When you are going to the restaurant, if your spouse smiles at the waitress or maybe takes a phone call from a friend of the opposite sex, in this situations do you feel your heart pumping faster and rage or even anger emotions? The process of surviving an affair is very hard and going through these heartbreaking feelings after the affair, will bring images inside your mind about your spouse and the other person cheating on you. And because you have these feelings and if you are extra- vigilant it means that you still have to work through with another powerful emotion and that is jealousy. Is jealousy good or bad? And what are the ugly parts of jealousy when surviving an affair? Jealousy is just a normal human emotion and this emotion is showing us that we still have strong feeling for our partner and appears because of the fear of losing your spouse and it's a response to the threats to your relationship. It is normal to feel like that especially when you are surviving an affair. This response can be dangerous and it can damage your relationship with your partner if you don't know how to manage it and understand why it exists so you can use it to your advantage. There are some forms of "good jealousy" because they show you a threat. Let's say that a woman is batting her eyes at your husband, than immediately a signal inside you your mind is telling you that someone is trying to make a move to your husband and then jealousy is making you a protector of your relationship. This way jealousy is helping you surviving an affair and you can respond to it in many ways. The best way to reveal your jealousy in this case is to talk about your feelings with your spouse but do it in a light way that will show your partner that you care about the relationship and you want to protect it without getting upset and start making a scene in front of people. If you are surviving an affair and you are expressing your jealousy in this way than you can call it "good jealousy" because it's a fun and rational response to a normal emotion that you are having. Now, there is the other kind of jealousy and is the one without cause. This is "bad jealousy" and can have different forms like when the jealous feelings are much stronger and are blinding you to think clearly and you react to these emotions not in a very pleasant way, damaging your chances of surviving an affair. This kind of jealousy is making you yell at your spouse and being angry. Than you will start giving the silent treatment for a few days and this ugly reaction is not appropriate to this situation. Acting like that when surviving an affair will eventually lead to ending your relationship forever. When you are surviving an affair you are facing with situations in which you are justified to have jealous feelings but these feeling also can cause serious problems in your relationship and your efforts to save your marriage after an affair.