Is Rebuilding Trust After An Affair Worth It?

If you’ve been cheated on then you know the feeling that fills your stomach after you found out about the affair. You also know all too well the anger and emotional discord this selfish act has caused you and the sleepless nights it has left behind. After the initial anger and heartbreak pass you’ll be left wondering, is my spouse worth all this?

Let’s face it. Your trust was broken and now you’re left with the pieces in your hand. The only person who will really know if rebuilding trust after an affair is worth it is you. However, here are some points to consider before leaving your spouse.

• If you’ve been married for several years the odds are you are comfortable with your spouse. You’ve probably built something together, have a home and careers and change would just be devastating right now. You may want to stay with your spouse just for sheer comfort.

• If there are kids involved then a divorce could be devastating to them and you. If this is the case, then you should get some marriage counseling to get through this affair.

• Odds are your spouse still loves you and does not want to leave. The affair may have been a one time thing or some sort of mid life crisis your spouse was going through. Years of marriage are not worth throwing away over a one night stand.

• Remember why you fell in love to begin with. Let your mind go back to the time when you first met and ask yourself where things went wrong. More than likely there was a communication break down in your marriage and somebody felt unwanted or unloved. All too often affairs happen because a spouse doesn’t feel loved or important at home.

• Affairs rarely have feelings involved. Usually, the affair is just physical and it has nothing to do with love. It doesn’t make it right, but it might be forgivable with a little help.

• All marriages are flawed. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage, including yours. You can work through this if you love your spouse. With a little time the trust will rebuild and you’ll fall in love with your spouse all over again.

I hate seeing a marriage end over something that can be fixed. If you love your spouse, there’s no reason why you cannot work through this issue. Talk to your spouse and see what caused the affair and let them know how you feel about their poor choices. Let out all your steam. Then start from scratch with your spouse. It sucks, it’s not easy and it will hurt. But if you love your spouse, the pain will be worth it.

Talk to your church family about what went wrong. If you don’t have a church home, then now’s a good time to find one. Any church will be happy to help. You should also do some reading about relationships and how to save your marriage. There are many books at your local library that’ll help. Do some research online as well.

There are many support groups and marriage help programs that you can purchase. Most if not all of them are well worth the investment. Start working on your marriage today and read all you can about the topic. You’ll be glad you did.