Article

Is Your Husband Having an Emotional Affair?

Written by Alex Haight

Topic: Overcoming Adultery and InfidelityPublished March 25, 2011
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Do you think your husband is having an emotional affair? I know that it can be difficult when you find your your husband has made a new female friend and the two of them seem to get along better than you two. You may wonder if their friendship is really something more or if he’s just waiting for the right moment to leave you. How can you tell if it’s an emotional affair, and what can you do about it?

First of all, have you noticed him mentioning a female friend in his life recently? It could be a female coworker or anyone else that he sees on a regular basis. If he’s having an emotional affair there is a good chance that he constantly talks about her and how great she is.

He might tell you a lot about what the two of them do or he may be reluctant to tell you anything at all. If you notice him becoming extremely close to another female while also sensing that he is pulling away from you, chances are good that you’ve got a problem on your hands.

How do you know if it’s a platonic relationship or if it is actually an emotional affair? Well, this is where things get a little bit tricky. There is nothing wrong with your husband having a female friend if there is absolutely no chemistry there at all. However, if he is flirting with her or the two of them share more intimacy than the two of you do, that is where things start to cross the line.

If you can it is always good to see how the two of them interact. It will difficult to do this, since they may change their behavior if you are present. It might be helpful to get the opinion of a third party, perhaps another coworker or friend that knows them both. Does this person think there is something going on there?

You also might want to spy on what your husband is doing when he’s online. Consider installing a keylogging software program on his computer. This will record everything he types including emails and chat conversations. This will help show you exactly how to corresponds with his female friend when he feels he isn’t being watched. Maybe the two of them are flirting or planning secret “dates” that you don’t know about.

If you do catch him having an emotional affair, the best way to approach it is the direct way. Tell him that you consider emotional affairs just as real and damaging as physical affairs. Also let him know that you fear that you are losing him and that his relationship with his friend is starting to worry you.

Most men do their best to be a good person. Perhaps he doesn’t consider an emotional affair a real affair. Perhaps to him it is all just “harmless flirting.” But by putting your opinions out in the open like this, you are letting him know that he is hurting you.

This will probably make him aware of how what he is doing is affecting you, and if he is truly a good person, he will stop it and try to work on improving his marriage with you. If he insists on continuing his emotional affair, maybe it’s time to question whether or not you should stay in a relationship with him.

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About the Author

If you found this helpful and you'd like to learn more about emotional cheating, please check out Marriage Sherpa by Dr. Gunzburg. This program will help you restore the love in your marriage. Alex Haight is a relationship writer helping women with relationship problems and specializing in affairs and infidelity.

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