The Only Definition That Matters

Most of us weren't encouraged early in life to explore what we want for ourselves or what our version of success looks like. But it's not too late to check in on what you're up to and whether it will lead you to the happiness you seek.

Have you ever chased something (or someone) only to discover afterward that it wasn't all it was cracked up to be? I suspect most of us have experienced this at some point in our lives.

What's up with us? Are we destined to be perpetually unsatisfied? Is it human nature to continually reach for something new? Does the cycle of wanting, achieving, and then just wanting more continue our entire lives?

Probably. But it’s also worth checking out whether you’re trying to fulfill someone else’s definition of success.

Years ago my marriage, career, and even my car reflected someone else’s idea of success. After spending too much time with an unlucky husband, a puzzled employer, and a sports car that didn’t fit my three-dog lifestyle, I realized this wasn’t my gig.

I eventually had another go at it, this time without giving a rip what others thought. As a result, I painted a much different picture than before; one more fulfilling tha
I dreamed possible. You may be surprised to realize where your "feel goods" come from, but it’s crucial to get in touch with or you’ll perpetually achieve one goal after another only to feel internal emptiness quickly returning.

Take the King of Bhutan, for example, who declared his country’s measure of prosperity to be GNH (Gross National Happiness) rather than the traditional GDP. He uses well-being instead of consumption as the measure for success. How cool is that?! Or my client who gave up her career as a record label executive to build shelters in a third world country, and reports she’s never been so satisfied. Or my neighbor who quit work to stay home with the kids after his wife finished law school.

Check in on your current intentions and goals. Are they genuinely yours? Or are they someone else’s idea of what yours should be? Make sure if you’re going to the trouble of achieving something that it’s in alignment with who you really are.

As a wise person once said: "There’s only one definition of success that matters. Yours."