Joyful Abandon

A friend of mine takes her two-year old daughter to dance classes on a Monday. Reports are that although she’s not particularly good at dancing, she loves the activity and the classes. She lets herself do whatever she pleases on the ‘dance floor’ and laughs at herself. My friend gets just as much joy out of watching her daughter move awkwardly, but joyfully amongst the other toddlers.

I have a number of clients who have reached a stage in their life with questions of “What now?” or “There must be more to life, surely?”

It’s often, during these coaching sessions that I discuss the concept of hobbies or creative activities. Not many people still have a hobby or outside interest of their own these days. Unfortunately, there are a number of perceptions around this topic.
“Why bother doing it if you’re not good at it?” I often hear.
“I’ll never get it right and I feel stupid even trying,” others complain especially with regard to art.
“I don’t have time. I barely have time for the necessary things I have to do each day,” is the most often given excuse.

And I call this an excuse, because it’s merely a mindset behind any new thing you wish to add into your life. Hobbies don’t make unmanageable demands on your time. Hobbies don’t push you into unwanted areas of commitment. You don’t need to do your hobby all the time, or even be particularly good at it. The only requirement I have for a hobby is that I enjoy it. And I often change my hobbies, as I explore different things.

Marianne Williamson says that by and large the idea of hobbies has been killed off in today’s society, because people can’t bear to do anything they’re not fabulous at. “Just play. Just act. Just paint. Just write,” she urges, “The only person that can free you is yourself.”

Unlock your own door to enjoyment. Enjoyment is a special feeling that fills you up with something inexplicable. You start to feel full - Full of life, full of energy and full of joy. You have something positive to talk about and share with others. Your energy becomes contagious and you find you’re happy and making others happy as well.

Enjoyment means that you’re feeling joy in the moment. And you’re able to create this for yourself – through doing something that fills your creative vessel. So much of your day may be duty-bound and obligatory: Getting children ready for school, working, cleaning, cooking, homework and playing taxi. Although, undoubtedly, these things provide you with a sense of purpose and are rewarding – do you also have some bubbling joy in your life?

What do you do that brings the well of joy gurgling up from inside – and is just for you? Something that may have no reason or purpose whatsoever?

‘But where do I start? I don’t know what I can do?” you’re probably thinking.
• Take small steps first. Read the local community newspaper to see what groups are around. There are usually groups doing interesting things that meet regularly.
• Try your local TAFE. They always have different and unique courses on offer; from silk-painting and photography to wealth creation. Give new things a try.
• Go visit a large craft store, for example Spotlight. Wander the aisles and see what’s on offer. There are books and clues everywhere. See what jumps out at you and give it a go.
• Also remember, that just because you try something doesn’t mean you have to stick with it. If you try it and don’t like it, you’re free to try something else.
• Remember, once again, that you’re allowed to like it even if you’re not good at it. That’s giving your inner child freedom of expression – which is paramount to enjoyment and joy.

A child is able to awkwardly dance around a floor, scramble around a playground and dress up in costumes at a function. What if you too, could abandon the fears of “What will others think?” or “I must win and be good, to be okay”?
How would you live, then?

Remember that procrastination is fear. If there is something you wish to try, but keep putting it off – what are you actually scared of? You’re merely delaying your own personal fulfilment and inner joy.