Karma, Balance, and Why Being “Nice” Isn’t Always Good

If you ask most people about what karma is, they will most likely respond with references to “good” and “bad” deeds. Most people strive to be the best they can be for themselves and others. We want to be good. And yet, most of the clients who I see in my intuitive counseling sessions have to learn how to be less “good” to other people, and better to themselves.

After all, “good” and “bad” are just self-imposed judgments about what we perceive as being integrated spiritual people. In reality, there is no judgment in the Universe about right and wrong, or bad and good.

Perhaps a more appropriate way to understand karma is viewing it as a scale. If you think of all relationships of having a measure of energy, when you are giving and receiving energy in equal measure, the scales are balanced. This is not to say you need to keep track of every favor you did for people, or what kind of gifts you bought them, etc. Rather, you might want to evaluate whether your relationships are in a reciprocal energy exchange.

If you are consistently in relationships where you are doing all the giving, or not standing up for yourself, or expressing your needs and feeling, each time you do this you reinforce that energy pattern in your aura. This frequency will attract more of the same energy frequency until you consciously clear this pattern and make adjustments to take back your power.

This might be confusing for those of you who feel you are being consistently “good” and “nice” to other people. Why are people not always nice in return? Why is this not mirrored back to us? The reason for this is that people are treating us how we are acting towards ourselves. If you are consistently putting other people’s needs before yours, this is what is reflected back to you. If it’s more important for you to protect other people’s feelings than honoring yours, other people will disregard your feelings as well. The good news is, when you start treating yourself as priority one, other people will respond in kind!

Relationships are a mirror for our internal life. The relationships and circumstances in your life will show you where you need to clear an energy pattern .If you consistently find yourself attracting the same kind of relationships, romantic or otherwise, you can ask how you are treating yourself the way others are treating you. For example, if the people around you, at work or at home, seem to be hard on you, you might want to examine how you are hard on yourself. As you treat yourself with more kindness, you will find that other people will treat you more kindly as well.

Oftentimes, we think we are doing the “right” thing by automatically forgiving someone who has wronged us, or by turning the other cheek to people who are treating us poorly and allowing them to dump their negative energy on us. One interpretation of “turning the other cheek” that might be beneficial is not taking another person’s actions personally when they act poorly towards you, therefore not engaging in the drama. So instead of taking on a person’s negativity and being “nice” about it, you can choose to view their negativity as a reflection of themselves rather than you, view that person with compassion, and disengage from that dynamic by choosing self-respect and self-care. Try that and see how that works for you!

Your relationship to yourself is the most important relationship in the world. So begin right now, loving yourself more and more. Honor your feelings and your needs, and have compassion towards yourself at all times. Now that’s what I call good karma!