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Leaning: The Key Ingredient For Dads To Bond

Written by Peggy Collins

Topic: HappinessPublished Recently added

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The other day I was doing an interview with a radio host that specializes in Dads. After we’d talked a while, he made this comment: “I never want my kids to know what I don’t know. They’ll think I’m weak.”

That statement is an American as apple pie, isn’t it? Macho man! Never let them see you sweat! Great image for a movie but how does it translate to real life?

Not well. You’re setting a standard for that little child who idolizes you. He or she will have to grow up to do the same for his and before you know it, you’re in a real pickle as the pace continues to speed up through technology.

Moreover, it distances you from that little one. When you’re able to say, “this isn’t one of Dad’s strengths. Let’s learn about it together.” or if it is one of his strengths, “maybe you’d be willing to show me how you did that?” You’re showing a vulnerability that bonds you to your child. You are human! Maybe you take the pressure off that he has to live up to the image of someone who’s bigger than life, someone he can admire from afar, but never reach. Not good for the self-esteem or the relationship.

Much, much later as he looks back, what do you want him to remember? That you were like a robot – tough, strong, never flinching or kind and interdependent helping him create his own worth through being valued by you!

Difficult? You bet! You’re making a decision to buck the system that says macho man is where it’s at. You’re making a personal decision and you’ll have to go it alone, not backed by advertising or your own perception of what a Dad should be. Give yourself permission to take baby steps with it.
1.Let your child see that you depend on her mother for something and verbalize it: “I need you to help me put this picture up” and to reinforce it by saying “I don’t know what we’d do if we didn’t have each other to depend on.”
2.To your child: “You’re so good with that game on the computer. Would you show me how so we can do it together?”
3.Find yourself saying, “I think the strongest men are those who can ask for help when they’ve tried but it’s not their strength”.

Leaning is a whole new way to look at bonding and creating more balance in your life!

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About the Author

Peggy Collins is a professional speaker, trainer and author. Her new book, Help is Not a Four Letter Word; Why Doing It All is Doing You In published by McGraw Hill has become her life mission: changing the culture one person at a time that says asking for help is a weakness – to asking for help is a strength. Peggy’s highly successful sales career spans some 40 years as she continues to sell – every day of her life. She gives audiences the tips and tools she learned where they can “hit the ground running”! • As a senior vice president of a Dallas, Texas bank holding company, she and her staff marketed a relocation product in 34 cities across the US and managed an incentive program that resulted in 167 million dollars. • As president of a Dallas relocation company she was responsible for the coordination of mass moves and thousands of individuals into the Metroplex including those from SOHIO, Ericsson, Arthur Andersen, Mervyns, and many others. In 1987, Peggy left corporate life to set up her own speaking and training business where she is spreading the word about how to be successful utilizing the same skills that made her career successful! Peggy has spoken to thousands in such audiences as: The Federally Employed Women’s Association, JC Penney, Ericsson, Price Waterhouse Coopers, The US Army Corps of Engineers, Texas Society of CPA’s, Association of Community Action Agencies, Meeting Professionals International, International Association of Conference Center Managers, The Dallas Chamber of Commerce, Spirit of Women, Northlake College, and many, many others. Since 2004, Peggy has been a resident of Hendersonville, NC. She’s a proud mother and grandmother. She’s also a thirteen-year member of the National Speakers Association and served on the Dallas North Texas Speakers Association Board for six years. Peggy has been designated by MPI (Meeting Professionals International) as a Platinum Speaker. She’s a member of The Spirit of Women Hospital Organization’s speakers bureau as well and has recently been elected to the Whitehouse Project. To Contact: Peggy Collinsn828-698-8866nwww.helpisnotafourletterword.comnpjcollins@earthlink.net For a Free Tip - Asking for Help each week, just go to the website and sign up!

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