Listen, Then

Spouses are our better half. They complete us. They supplement us what we lack. They are our best friends. They know everything about us. They are the wall that we could lean back and shoulder to cry. They are our frontline critics. So as we are to them.

However, they would not be our better half if we were not selfless. If we do not extend ourselves and seek interest on them, we would not be one with our spouse. Essential to marriage is becoming one. If we fail on it, we separate or live a stressful married life.

Active listening is one best way to extend oneself to your spouse. It is a selfless effort and concrete process of becoming one with your spouse. Listening requires placing yourself in your spouse’s shoes. It demands clear understanding of your spouse. Thus, you need to focus on listening all your spouse’s emotions and thoughts. We actively listen to their highs and lows; ups and downs; happiness and worries;

Remember your wedding vow. For better, for worse; For richer, for poorer; In sickness and in health; Actively listening to your spouse starts you to live that vow.

1, Listening actively means absorbing and understanding all your spouse’s words and actions. It is looking your spouse’s eyes during your talk. It is opening your mind and heart without biases and prejudices. It is holding your judgment.

2, Listening to your spouse alone, without a single interruptive word, is a big selfless effort. You can however talk after your spouse talk. Hold your judgment. Just ask questions to know more. It is important to repeat his/her words to clarify. It will definitely signal your spouse that you actively listened when you get his/her message right. That signal will encourage a more open and honest communication.

Talks do not need to be face-to-face. You can also call your spouse on phone at the middle of the day. Tell him/her that you were thinking of him/her. Call your spouse that you just wanted to listen to him/her. You can also email and chat him/her. In whatever form, you actively listened when you understood your spouse

“Keep your ring and be Alwaysr
Happily Married! It is not only easier; it is what you pledged to and
be celebrated” -
Norman Csa
i - Founder of Build My Marriage
http://www.buildmymarriage.com