Living The Unconce ed Life

“Unconce ed” doesn’t sound so great at first. “Living the Unconce ed Life” may seem that we are advocating living unconsciously - without attention, thought, or compassion. Shouldn’t we want to be “conce ed” about the affairs of our lives and show “concern” for the welfare of others? While being “conce ed” might indicate that we are interested, have caring feelings, and consider something or someone important, at the bottom line, being “conce ed” is being WORRIED, and WORRY is just a nagging form of FEAR.

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Living the Unconce ed Life is living a life without anxiety or worry - especially in those situations where anxiety and worry would seem to be expected and “natural.”

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Yesterday, the stock market saw its greatest drop in 30 years, and my own stocks - the basis of my retirement - fell even faster than the broad market. It would be expected and “natural” for me to be conce ed. Was I conce ed? Yes. My tight chest and shallow breathing don’t lie. Conce and fear - Yes. So what’s all this about Living the Unconce ed Life, if I have conce s? It’s a matter of degree and consciousness. How long and how intensely do I remain conce ed, and to what extent am I able to consciously manage my level of conce ?

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In 21st Century America, almost all of us are conce ed with money - to some degree and in some way. Most of us want more money, and we experience a high level of conce much of the time. A few of us think that money is bad or evil, and believe that no one should be allowed to be wealthy. This is equally an intense conce about money. Whatever our beliefs, fears, desires, jealousies, and other emotions regarding money, our conce about money is measured by the amount of time and the level of intensity we direct toward the subject of money. To be “unconce ed” about money is to spend no time of energy whatsoever on the subject.

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Money is just one example of our conce s. Whatever we direct our time and energy toward, that doesn’t give us Joy, is a “concern.”

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Exercise: Get comfortable and contemplate the following questions: How much time and energy do I spend on what I wear? What if clothes were merely something to keep me warm? Which aspects of personal grooming give me Joy, and which are burdens that I endure out of a fearful need for approval? How much time and energy do I spend on my “conce s” about: how I look, whether I’m liked and respected, what I eat, my health, my bank account, my job, my retirement, my family, my safety, the weather, prices, shortages, government, big business, terrorists, crime, epidemics, foreign affairs, the economy, and everything on the 11 o’clock news?

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Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply - never from demanding that others live simply - or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others. - jlh

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Remember that “concern” is about the time, energy, and emotion that we direct toward something or someone - not whether we are for something or against it. If I spend time and energy proselytizing that makeup is frivolous, I am fully as “conce ed” about makeup as if I dutifully direct that time and energy toward my own face. Nothing that we do for fun is ever a “concern.” If applying makeup is enjoyable artistic play, it’s certainly not a “concern.”

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“Concern” is a natural emotion for humans, but we can minimize our suffering by recognizing the nature of our conce s, and by consciously focusing our attention on our gratitude for the Joys of our life.

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Today In-My-World: Whenever I recognize that I am experiencing a concern, I question what I am really afraid of - being very specific, and continuing to look more deeply. Then I question whether I choose to continue to devote time and energy to the concern. Is this conce worth suffering over - perhaps even to the degree of impacting my physical health?

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As am example: I (Jonathan) am conce ed that the stock market is dropping like a rock. I am afraid it will keep dropping. I am afraid the real estate market will never recover. I am afraid I will run out of money. I am afraid I will lose my house. I am afraid I will be cold and starving. I feel foolish for not having made wiser investment choices. I am afraid of being disrespected by those around me - especially my wife.

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So what is really going on deep inside me? It only takes me a moment to recognize that my fear of being cold and starving is a leftover from prehistoric times, and not a rational concern. It doesn’t do a lot of good to yell “Stupid, Stupid, Stupid” at myself for having bought stocks at an inopportune time. My loving and most understanding wife Suze is going to love me and stand with me wherever and however we live.

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Consciously going through this process works. It’s very different from just trying to tell myself “calm down, don’t worry, everything’s OK.” The intermediate steps of specifically identifying the lowest level, most basic fears and possible consequences are what make this process work. Try it.

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