Love and Let Go

The feeling of guilty for causing the person you once loved with pain before his death and how to let go and forgive yourself. Close your eyes and take a deep breath then exhale. It loosens up a bit of tightness in your heart, but it will never take away the guiltiness that nags at you forever. How do you erase the pain of losing someone whom you caused pain?

Cry your heart out. It may help released the pain during the moment of goodbyes, but when you go home and remember the moments that you have caused the person with pain and unhappiness will confine you again. The things that you would have given but have not; times that you could have spared but wasn’t able to. These are events that will haunt you forever.

Move out and move on with life. You certainly have the right to get on with life. It is not right that the dead confine the living with guiltiness and frustrations. So the simplest way to leave the misery is to move out and find a good place to settle. A total difference in ambiance of the place you once have lived with the person. It will ease the pain of seeing the bed you shared, the kitchen that you never had chance to cook for the person or the living room that was always empty when you go home. The forlo
ambiance because of lost love should be unlike to a new place you will transfer. You will move out and leave the unhappy memories along with the house.

Keep the mementos in a box and away from your reach for the moment. The happy Kodak moment will revive the love you thought was lost. The warmth of the thoughts because of bonded trust and respect for the person will brought back you to places you have forgotten. It is difficult to forget when it haunts you again and again when you start looking at the photos and little things you kept and forgot to throw. But throwing it away will only add up to your guiltiness. It is better to keep it all in a box and let time heal and forget those things.

For the last time remember all the good things you once have shared. Replay it in your mind; revive the words you both whispered to each other. It will leave a joy in your heart and tears of happy memories. The guiltiness will be replaced with gratefulness. Be grateful to the person for the presence he once had given.

Forgive yourself. Finding a new love and causing the person pain before his death is not your fault. Try to reverse the situation and you will find yourself understanding and forgiving. You are not selfish; you are only feeling the emotion that is pointing at you. Never consider the opinion of other people if their opinion will caused you pain of guiltiness. Your explanation is not for them to hear or the suffering to ease the guiltiness. The guiltiness emanates from yourself because you have not forgiven yourself. Accept your fault and forgive yourself. If you will not forgive yourself, the cycle of lost love and guiltiness will continue. Be at peace with yourself.

Accept new love. You may have accepted this love even before the event of death, but you have left this love buried along with the dead because of guiltiness. Don’t do that to yourself. You have all the right to live and love. And certainly you have the right to do the things that will make you happy. You are not the only person experiencing this. Many shared the same situation and the only difference between you and the rest is how you go about living.

Guiltiness is a God-given value, a wisdom to make humans forgiving and understanding. Use this gift from God and you can truly be at ease and with peace to yourself.