LOVE AND LONELINESS

Loving people is a must for a human being who is especially spiritually inclined. We can recall in our mind in this context the immortal line: “Love your enemy; do good to them that hate you.” The prophets in the past renounced the world and realized something which became a religion. But saying some good words and doing that in practice is not the same. My mother was a venerable lady of different class. She got married at the age of thirteen only. Pleasing her husband and children, I simply wonder, how could she loved her neighbors and followers!
Normally, I use to spend at present in loneliness. Actually, I wasn’t so. Along with the mother I also loved our neighbor. But when I found her followers gradually leaving her in the lurch, I liked very much to live within narrow confine to serve the mother in her old age. Naturally, after the departure of my mother in January 2011, I am gradually accustomed to lead secluded life thinking all the while about her. I feel her presence every moment. How dearly she loved me! She was so generous that a poor man like me became a rich one in one life. Do you know what did she say? “Be rich in the true sense, exchanging hearts.”
“I cannot expect an exchange of hearts. For, if I sit here with that heart of vast expanse—if indeed I am of that race of noble and great soul, how can I get a heart of the same order from a small , petty man! I can't. If I count on that, I'll point to the limitation of my knowledge. I'll expect that he'll refashion his own heart after this vast heart of mine.”
I'll accept that mean, naked heart of his as vast. In that case he'll hug it to his own bosom and say to himself—"Oh, what a heart have I seen! O Lord, can't I make myself like that?"-- The give-and-take will take place on this basis of exchange.”
I remember her long presence attached with her so many philanthropic activities. Her creativity was also of serious concern. Everybody should add great importance to her way of expounding things related to religion and culture in a state of “Conscious Trance”. All this had ever been just exemplary and exception from all and sundry to great thinkers of all ages.
Having completed my academic life I came to her gracious contact in 1963. Spending 48 years at a stretch I feel confident in thinking about so many things in the world of science, literature and philosophy. Often I think how diagonally opposite I have been changed in her solemn presence. There are a few others by my side, following her way of living a better life shouldering responsibilities. How deep was mother’s affection to one and all of us!
Excuse me; how can I spend time loving others when I am to shoulder the entire burden in her absence? Am I not to allow people of this planet to delve deep into her unique philosophy of life? I am also supposed to preserve in tact all that she has expressed in a state of Conscious Trance along with the photographs taken from time to time to justify her state of Trance. Soon I am to transfer the recordings from magnetic tapes and cassettes to DVD or HDD. Old machines are out of order and I am unfortunately an old man without any fund to fertilize the barren hearts around me.