Love & Relationships-Three Signs it's Caput & How Unconditional Love Contrasts With Modern Marriage

A compatible relationship is what most people strive nfor, and it’s always nice to hear about a happy couple nin a fulfilling relationship.

People wanting to get married would be smart to nseriously consider the following questions:
What do you seek through marriage? A ceremony to ndeclare your love and a chance to get together with nfamily and loved ones? Romantic partnership npermanence? Do you hope it will add something to nyour connection that you feel is absent at this time?

Marriage was originally intended for practical and neconomic reasons. People could not survive unless nthey pooled their skills and resources. Due in part by nromantic fantasy perpetrated by movies and fairy ntales, marriage today includes unrealistic expectations nsuch as being someone’s “everything” for life.
Surprisingly, even with the high divorce rates, this ntradition is still a popular choice.

Some say it’s because you need marriage for kids, or nthat marriage is about commitment. But you can be nresponsible parents or commit to each other without a nmarriage license.

Those who oppose marriage contend that legally nbinding agreements, in an attempt to cement nrelationships, primarily reflect fear and a lack of ntrust and are more about money than love.

There is no level of compatibility “good enough” for nmarriage, because two individuals who are very ncompatible now may not be in ten years. Furthermore, nmarriage is just a legal construct that has nothing tondo with unconditional love, which is what many claim to nmarry for. By unconditional love, we’re referring to a nlack of conditions such as “If you do this for me, I’llndo that for you.”

Ideally, marriage would be completely about nunconditional love. It wouldn’t be like modern nmarriage is today.

There would be no unhappiness about a partner not ndoing what they are expected to do financially, there nwould be no disputes about having to spend time with nthe partner’s friends and family, and there would be a nlack of expectations in the bedroom, just to name a few.

As we have constantly found in our work, most nrelationships have time limits, as do friendships and nbusiness associations. Sound unromantic? Truth isn’t nalways romantic, but embracing it will save you a lot nof heartache. You don’t have to physically leave a nrelationship for it to be over, as many married couples nwill tell you if they are brutally honest. Additionally, nchildren know when their parents are unhappy and nall too often the parents end up setting a bad example nrelating to complacency and deceit.

How can you tell if a romantic connection has seen nbetter days? A few examples include the following: all nattempts at spicing up the bond fall flat; one or both npartners become increasingly interested dating other npeople; sex becomes routine and boring or nonexistent; nthe sexual attraction fades significantly or disappears; one nor both feel as if they have learned as much as they were nsupposed to learn; and it simply doesn’t feel right to stay ntogether.

Life-long, satisfying monogamy is desired by many, nbut is it natural or realistic? Some couples completely nlose interest in sex with each other and settle for ncompanionship or are willing to make great sacrifices nand be unhappy in order to avoid ending their relationship, nbut more and more couples are accepting that most nrelationships are not meant to last forever.

In our view, love relationships serve primarily as ngrounds for shared spiritual lessons and goals, rather nthan the currently accepted, outdated, fear-based nsociological standard as outlined above. Many norms nin society will be seen as absurd by future generations, nand we expect that traditional marriage will be one of nthem.

An aside, for those who desire to deepen their nunderstanding of their partner (especially before ngetting married), compatibility analyses involving npsychic insight, comprehensive astrology, numerology, nand graphology outlining key challenges and rewards is na great way to open the door to more love.

We recommend to those considering marriage to ncommunicate with their partner about commitment, nand discuss feelings about money, children, relatives, nfriends, etc. But don’t expect or even hope that the nlove would be permanent if you got married, since no ncouple is compatible enough to meet and exceed the npresent day expectations of marriage.

“Getting married to make a relationship permanent is nlike buying a summer home to make summer last forever.”

Copyright © 2007 Scott Petullo, Stephen Petullo