WHY WOULD A WOMAN TALK ABOUT HER OTHER DATES?

Hi Doc,

I was on a date with a girl, and I was thinking that she really liked me. She had invited me over to her house to watch movies and stuff like that. Then on the second date, she started telling me how she went out with some other guy the previous week. Though she didn't have anything good to say about him, I still didn't like to hear about another guy.

What was she trying to accomplish by telling me about this other date?

Brad - who wants to know her motives

Hi Brad,

I wish I knew what you meant by "stuff like that" - on the other hand, this column is G-rated, so perhaps it's better that I don't know. Let's move onto the more important mystery: why is your girl so unabashedly open about her dating life?

As is true with most dates, Brad, everything appeared to be going smoothly for you in the beginning - until your girl threw you a curve ball. Because you're a rational being, you asked yourself, "Why is she talking to me about another guys when we are sitting together on her couch? Couches aren't made for that!" That's where I come in: I can interpret this inconsistent female behavior for the billions of confused men who inhabit planet Earth!

According to The "System," the overwhelming majority of women (80%) don't mention their other dates while they are in a man's presence. That's why when a woman volunteers this information, you must pay very close attention. She's showing her true motives.

Brad, 90% of women who share gory details of their other dates with you do so in order to tell you: "You'll never be more than a 'friend' to me - so don't even try!" In other words, they do it out of low Interest Level. If you were to complain to her two months later about the fact that she's still dating other guys, she would tell you with heartless indignation: "I told you at the beginning that I was seeing other people. You can't say I didn't warn you." So much for empathy!

The other 10% of women mention their other dates because they have high interest in you. A woman in this group falls into one of two possible categories:

Category one: the woman likes you, but feels the need to test you. In this instance, it's not her intention to humiliate you - she just wants to find out what you are made of. For instance, are you the type of guy who gets uptight when you find out you're not the only sprinter in the race for her heart, or do you smile nonchalantly because you know you're dating other people yourself?

Unlike the male, the female knows that dating is a power struggle. This is why she tries to determine ASAP who's wearing the pants in the relationship. By besetting the man with numerous uncomfortable situations, a woman can determine whether or not he can "take the heat" (Sorry to say - most men can't), which shows her whether or not he has a backbone. In short, testing gives the woman very useful information: how far a man can be pushed before he walks out of her life.

Category two: the woman likes you, but feels the need to cleanse her soul. In this scenario, she has only gone out with you one or two times, but she already feels guilty about dating other guys. In her mind, she has given herself to you, so any time spent out with another man is a type of infidelity, which makes her want to confess. Of course, her self-imposed guilt is unnecessary since no one can be expected to stop going out with other people after only a couple of dates - but it's a good sign nevertheless: it shows you that she has integrity and has fallen hard for you.

Brad, I'm betting that the second category applies to your case. First: your girl felt comfortable enough around you to invite you into her home to sit on her couch with her. Women with low Interest Level don't do this. Second: she had nothing good to say about your competition. It sounds to me that this girl likes you and has a great attitude - so far. My advice to you: don't bring up the other guy, and have a blast on your third date!

Guys, whenever you are confronted with dating phenomena that you don't fully understand, don't get uptight - stay cool until you consult the source of reliable information: The "System." nn?Copyright DocLove DotCom nnnn