EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Dr. Donald Goldman? 1995 book Emotional Intelligence brought to public awareness research on the cluster of emotional skills which predict later life success. A typical research scenario has a researcher offering 4 year olds the choice betweenreceiving one marshmallow immediately, ortwo after the researcher left briefly and then returned. A decade later, when the children were all in their teens, those who as four year olds had been able to wait for the two marshmallows were different as a group, from those who were unable to wait. Those who had been able to delay gratification were now less easily frustrated, less stubborn, more popular, better able to handle stress and more confident.

According to Time Magazine's October 2nd, 1995 cover story: "The EQ Factor", the consensus of personal executives in the corporate world is that IQ gets you hired, but EQ gets you promoted. At AT&T's Bell Labs, for example, the engineers who succeeded were not those with the highest IQ, but those with good people skills. They answered their e-mail, were good collaborators and networkers. It has long been known by social scientists that high IQ, by itself, is no great predictor of later life success. Having a high IQ does not guarantee a high income or a happy marriage.

For people seeking to grow spiritually, one of Dr.Goldman's great contributions was the identification of the five basic skills of emotional intelligence. Shown below is a resource, based on Dr. Goldman's work, which I developed and used with my patients when I was in private practice as a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, as well as with my college students, medical residents and the psychology doctoral interns I supervised. I useit myself.

THE 5 BASIC SKILLS OFEMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE (AS IDENTIFIED BY THE RESEARCH OF DR. DONALD GOLDMAN )

1. The ability to know what I am feeling. 2. The ability to calm myself down.

3. The ability to motivate myself.

4. Empathy - the ability to correctly sense the feelings of others.

5. The ability to manage my relationshipsnwith others innhealhy, productive ways.

Emotions are complex changes of muscles and glands. It is these changes which you feel. "The blood drained from her face...," "her shoulders sank...", "his jaws were tight.." convey in common-sensical language the bodily changes a personexperiencing respectively fear, sadnessand anger would directly feel, and which could be observed by others.

Dr. Goldman has provided a plain language road map for emotional literacy which is a wonderful resource and practical yardstick for anyone. The first three emotional intelligences conce
maintaining a serene internal emotional center; the last two address good relationships with others.
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