Are you looking for love in all the wrong places?

How can you increase your chances of finding a love match? In this article I describe how simple attitudinal changes can improve your chances of finding and connecting with a mate. In the second part of the article on finding love I tell you where you can go to find a potential love match. The results of this survey show that simple changes can improve your chances of finding and connecting with a mate. A SURVEY OF SINGLES The biggest surprise? From Africa to America the results were consistent. It seems that when it comes to affairs of the heart we are all the same. So what were the similarities? For starters, nearly three-quarters of respondents found it difficult to meet potential mates, confirming what we already know. Society has changed. With more people working from home, and fewer participating in community groups, such as churches, the trend is for people to have a fixed circle of friends with fewer opportunities to meet new people. But here’s an interesting twist. Asked to choose from the following statements: (a) we each have only one true lovern(b) there are lots of potential matesrn(c) take whoever comes first, else you might miss out 74% of respondents selected option (b) indicating they believe there are 10, 20 maybe even 100,000 people who could potentially be suitable life partners. So why do people have such difficulty finding and connecting with a mate? I believe there are two main problems. In this article we will look at behaviour (how you act), in the next article we will look at location (where you look for love). BE READY Those who are successful in love are the ones with an open heart. Others sense when you are willing to love and be loved, and will naturally gravitate to you. When your heart is closed it is like putting an electric fence around yourself – no one will come near you for fear of being hurt. You may not be aware you are generating such strong vibrations. To find out you can either ask someone you trust, or spend time thinking deeply on the subject. Ask yourself honestly, “Is my heart open to love?” “Am I willing to take the risk that I may get hurt?” SMILE Friendly people are always the most popular. Whether they have gorgeous bodies, great fashion sense and a hot car, or have love handles, crazy clothes and no money the person who is genuinely happy will get all the attention. You need look no further than your television to see this in action. In 2001 New Zealanders watched the Australian version of Big Brother. The most fascinating aspect was the rise in popularity of Sarah-Marie. Here was a woman who genuinely liked herself, who felt no shame at sunbathing next to her slimmer room mates, and who had self esteem that most people can only dream of. She was perpetually happy and she didn’t play games. What you see is what you get with Sarah-Marie, and it’s that sort of straight forward behaviour that many people are seeking in a mate. THE FIRST MOVE Too often people miss opportunities because they are not prepared to make the first move. If the person is a complete stranger, you have nothing to lose by introducing yourself. Remember you probably have a fixed circle of friends so you’re not going to meet anyone new unless you reach out and invite others into your social group. Even on the internet I have heard of people who are enjoying a conversation via email, but are too scared to suggest a meeting. I say, get it over with. Obviously there are precautions that need to be taken when going on blind dates, but the sooner you meet, the better chance you will have to assess whether there is any potential. Look out for part 2 next month...