Marriage Goals What are They, Why You Need Them, and How They can Improve Your Relationship

Marriage goals are vital to healthy relationships. But, most couples don’t even realize they need them. I want to share with you some examples of great goals to have, why you should even bother, and how goals can improve your relationship.
When most people think about the word “Goals” they generally see it as an individual, personal, or business concept. However, writing goals for your marriage can be a great tool in your relationship by helping you remain focused on what is important to you both. Let’s face it, marriage can be a lot of drudgery and we need to be proactive to keep the life and spark in our relationship. Goals can help you improve your relationship, dream together, and have a little fun in the process.
Here are a few guideline and ideas to help you better understand what a marriage goal looks like and tips to make them do-able in your relationship.
• Be Specific. Don’t make goals that are generic because they will lead to guilt and failure, make your goals specific. For example generic goals would be “We want to spend more time together,” or, “We want to travel.” Specific goal would be: “We want to have date night 3 nights a month “or, “We want to see Scotland on our 25th wedding anniversary.”
• Do it alone. Sometimes it is easier to write down your goals alone and then come together to share. My husband and I did this and it was fun to see how many of our goals were similar when we had never talked about them before. It’s a great way to get your creative juices flowing. Some of the goals we shared were:
o Building our own home in the next 2 years (did it!),
o Seeing our children happily married, wildly success, and enjoying their life (have to wait a few years on this one – but we are proactively setting them up for success now)
o Renewing our vows on our 10th anniversary (date is set in November and we are having a blast making plans!)
o And, traveling a few times a year while the kids are young (weekend visits to places we can drive to for example-the highlight for them is the hotel, pool, and room service anyway!)
• Keep it Short! If the thought of coming up goals seems overwhelming start with 10. Ten specific, realistic, big, and shared goals will have a much greater impact than 50 goals you don’t really care about but were just trying to fill up your quota. This is supposed to be fun-no pressure allowed!
• Be Realistic. Don’t just put down big dreams for the future. Make sure you have goals that are relevant to who you are today and your current season of life. Include what you want to accomplish in your relationship this month, in the next 6 months, or in the next year. When you have 3 children at home under the age of 6 a two week vacation to Europe in the next year is probably not realistic right now, but a weekend away twice a year is.
• Don’t forget to Dream! While you need to have realistic goals that you can accomplish sooner rather than later, don’t forget to dream big when you are thinking about your goals. Let yourself think a few years into the future (or maybe many years into the future ;) and dream about where you want to be then. Put down that two week trip to Europe, or paying off all of your debt, or finally opening up your own business together. When you put them down on paper, and start baby stepping your way towards them, even big dreams can become realities!
• Make them Visible! Once you have finished brainstorming, discussing, tweaking, and praying make a finalized list of your goals to display in your home. Put them on your fridge, in a frame on your bedside table, as a bookmark in your Bible, or even on your phone. The point is to have them visible. Don’t put them in a drawer to be forgotten. When you see them often you will be reminded of their importance and you will start living your life to accomplish those goals.
Marriage goals are fantastic! They can help you have a clear vision for your future, improve your relationship now, and help you stay focused on what’s really important when life gets tough. I hope you take my advice and start working on your own marriage goals today! ~ Raychel