***Meditation Retreats - 10 Tips to Get You Started

Here are some ideas on how to best prepare for your first meditation retreat:

1) Make sure details are handled before leaving. Pay your bills. Arrange for someone to check your messages and let them know where to reach you in case of emergency. Be sure someone will be checking on your pets and knows how to reach your vet. Record a new outgoing voicemail message so people know you will be unavailable till you get back.

2) You will forget some things… and it will bother you. No matter what kind of retreat you do, by the third day, you’ll be convinced that you didn’t pay a crucial bill, left the oven on or a window open. You may even start thinking that criminals are going to break into your home and convert it into a drug den.

3) Try to relax and remember that nothing you forget before your spiritual retreat is that critical to your survival. Worrisome thoughts about these things are just what happens while on retreat. Believe me, we've all had similar experiences, and even if some big problem does arise, you're more likely to be able to cope effectively with it after a long meditation retreat.

4) Ask about things. For your first meditation center experience, new ways of doing things can raise questions. I’m not just referring to unfamiliar spiritual rituals; you may also have questions about simple things like "Should I go to the bathroom now or later?" or "When is lunch?" or "What if I freak out and want to leave?" Be sure to get these questions answered by one of the people organizing the retreat instead of assuming an answer or remaining confused.

5) Consider that any seeming problems that come up are just your thinking and they may well be there just to distract you from your spiritual work. So, maybe you've done ten hours of this new Tibetan meditation and somehow you decide that little bit of tightness in your chest is about to become a full-blown heart attack. Consider that maybe, just maybe, this fear is only a distracting thought, and there is nothing to it. It’s very common to have some persistent, annoying thought which seems to be an absolute emergency that requires attention, but when we remind ourselves, "It's only a distraction," often it will be completely forgotten by the end of the day.

6) Say "no" when you need to. This may seem like a contradiction to other suggestions on this list, but actually it's about asking questions. If you are having a certain kind of internal experience or being asked to do something unusual, be willing to say "no" to that experience. Knowing and trusting yourself is an important part of spiritual practice. This is an especially valuable thing to know how to do if they start passing out the Kool-Aid.

7) Don't look behind you. Everybody loves the thought of making progress on a spiritual path. However, because there is no way to measure how far we've come or how far we have to go, let alone the length of the path or our speed along it, there isn’t any way to tell just where on that path we are. The truth is that no matter how cosmic or profound a particular spiritual experience you have may be, it’s not a mile-marker on the path. It remains an experience, nothing more. This is also true if it’s your neighbor and not you who has the amazing, I-never-thought-this-would-happen-to-me mystical consciousness moment. It’s just not a big deal. Since you can't compare your experience to anyone else's in any verifiable way anyway, you may as well just give that up.

Of course, despite this advice, you will still try to compare your meditation retreat experience to others. That's what humans do; our minds work that way. Instead of getting caught up in these judgments and making them worse, though, why not, get a good laugh out of it instead? Isn't it fascinating that by the end of the meditation course, when everyone was supposed to be going inside and having their own private experience, somehow everyone knows the full story on everyone else there?

9) Don't try to understand everything. There is almost always a philosophy being taught at any yoga or meditation retreat. You may find yourself reacting to this new information as if there's going to be a final exam when you're done. But there’s no final exam and you are guaranteed to forget much of what you heard. No one else will remember it all, either, even if they act like they do. There isn't a test and you don't have to study hard.

10) Take it easy. "My pen rai" is a saying in Thailand that means "no problem exists." The implication of this saying is that you can always take care of your problem in the next life. Even if you don’t believe in reinca
ation, all you have to do is visit Thailand to see how calming this attitude can be for people. Remember, your mediation course isn’t going to end with a ceremony offering prizes for the best or most congenial meditator. There is no such thing as doing a perfect meditation retreat, and no one has ever been the perfect meditator. So relax and keep my pen rai in mind.

Feel free to drop me a note about how it went… and I'm open to hearing your ideas about how to get the most out of a meditation retreat.