Memories...To Keep or not to keep?

Is it necessary or even desirable to totally eliminate memories in order to help eliminate stress? I don't believe it is necessary to eliminate the actual memory that is causing a negative response...but rather, one can eliminate the negative response and still maintain the memory. I have found when working with sexual abuse victims and PTSD clients, that they will often hit a wall during recovery if they feel they must 'forget' everything. As one client said..."I don't want to forget what has happened to me. I just want to eliminate the pain and response re-trigger." I have found this to be possible, such that the client can remember events clearly but not be connected to it emotionally. Their perception of themselves and reality changes and they no longer see themselves as the victim. This leaves them empowered, and with the ability to deal with daily stressors in a more positive manner. The layers are gone, and chronic stress becomes virtually a thing of the past. We are all constantly facing daily stress, but our reformed response allows us to retain our memories, good and not so good, and still live happily.
So the question is why you would want to keep the memories in the first place!? Do you have any emotional attachment to them?! So what if they're all gone and erased as if they never took place? Are you afraid part of your identity/story will be gone? Do you see your memories as something of value to keep? Clean the slate and live now can be an alte
ative if you don't need to recall or remember any of it, or do you?
It is a good question to ask and one with many layers that can seem counterproductive and puzzling, but I believe it relates to our foundational belief of who we are and from what roots we come. It isn't necessary to have an emotional attachment to the memories but I believe those who have been conce
ed about losing (erasing them) altogether perhaps do not want to begin rebuilding the tapestry that has been their history and therefore their identity and life to date. There is always so much to be learned from one's experiences good and not so good, and perhaps, this is where the value lies. I suspect that by removing the emotional imprint but retaining the memory, one retains the substance of one's existence such that it resolves itself and likely reaffirms one's identity and essence. This does not mean you are not living in the moment. On the contrary, it frees you to do just that because you have resolved the negativity and emotional attachment to the past that has caused self-sabotage and held you back. It is also interesting to note that new helpful information for living in the moment can be gleaned from reviewing a memory without emotional attachment. When there is no longer an emotional draw to a memory, clarity is achieved and you are free to move on in a more positive direction. Memories can be tools of guidance. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) and Hypnosis are valuable tools for emotional freedom and living in the moment.