Building Solid Relationships Using the Power of Words

We may not be aware of it; but the words we utter daily nmay have different interpretations, even if you think that nthey mean the same thing. n

Here's an example.

Would you rather have someone tell you that you are "slim," nor would you like to hear that you are "thin?" Being slim nhas a slightly positive effect because it is attributed to nhealth and fitness.

Rather than saying you have failed, just mention that you nhave not yet achieved success. Get the picture? Always ntry to speak words in the most positive manner you can nthink of.

Here's another important advice.

Never compare the negative qualities of one person with nanother. n

A former boss of mine has this to say to me when I made nan error in my previous day job, "James (not real name) is ndoing a much better job than you are. He's not committing nany mistake like you do." n

That crushed my heart. My boss thought this would motivate nme to do better. Nope, it just hurt my feelings and lowered nmy self-esteem. Of course, I would never make the same nmistake again after her harsh scolding. I've learned my nlesson well. But she could have said it nicely. n

Experiences arising from discouragement and condemnation nwill have a negative effect on the recipient. n

Some parents might believe that instilling fear on their nchildren would improve their performance. They would nsay, "You're always failing. Why can't you be like your nbrother? You're such a disgrace to this family."

Now that's not the proper way to do it. They should inspire, nencourage, and motivate their children; not belittle them neven further. n

They should tell their children that they have the capacity nto achieve great things, if they would only put a little more neffort. Teach them values that would make them feel important nand loved. n

You may even go as far as giving them qualities that they ndo not yet possess. By giving them confidence and by making nthem believe that they have such characteristics, they will neventually acquire such traits. Tell them how bright you nthink they are, and you will soon be surprised at the nresults. They will significantly improve if you firmly made nthem believe that they have the capacity to do so.

So if you ever wanted to persuade or encourage someone to do nbetter, make sure that he or she is motivated out ofninspiration, and not out of fear. Give advice that cares, nand not offensive words borne out of hatred or anger.

Think first before you speak. Many relationships have been nruined by the wrong choice of words. Some people voice out nanything that comes to their mind, without first filtering nthe good words from the bad ones. This might result in nmisunderstandings and arguments, which could have easily nbeen prevented if we speak out in a way that is neutral nand non-offensive.

Words are very powerful indeed. Use them responsibly for nthe benefit of all. n