MR. and MRS. right…and wrong

There is no Mr. and Mrs. Right, but there must be Mr. and Mrs. Right and Wrong. Your spouse is literally your other half. He/she is the person who completes you while you complete him/her. He/she attracted you because he/she has the qualities that you looked for and vice versa.

Your parents, experience, environment, even genes and evolution formed your Mr. and Mrs. Right qualities. These qualities often are the type of life that you wanted to live and share with someone.

Science claims that men often prefer women who have the good qualities of their mother. Same principle applies to women preference. These preliminary qualities eventually multiplied as one experiences life in a given environment. If a woman has an intelligent father, hardworking boss and lives in a peaceful community, then she most likely prefers an intelligent, hardworking and peace-loving man.

Experience and environment however do not form all these Mr. and Mrs. Right qualities. Evolutionary psychologists and geneticists claim that evolution and genes also contributed to these qualities. We are subconsciously high-wired to be attracted to a universal set of human features. Men, for one, are universally attracted to women with good body scents, long hair, youthfulness, big breasts, small waist and flawless skin. Body scents biologically triggers our senses and certain attraction neurons to the brain. Long hair, youthfulness, big breasts, small waist and flawless skin generally reflects good health and fertility, which by history are keys to good human reproduction and survival. Our male ancestors consciously preferred healthy and fertile women to produce many healthy children (or say, survivors). On the other hand, women generally preferred tall men with masculine features. These men most likely have good genes, potency and capability to provide resources for the survival of offspring of women.

These overall Mr. and Mrs. Right qualities often do not make sense or match the qualities of our parents, experience, environment, genes and evolution. However, when we check our partner or spouse, we realize they carry most of the qualities.

We just start to question the “rightfulness” of our partner or spouse when we see their idiosyncrasies. Of course, we miss to include the bad qualities and human imperfections in the creation of Mr. and Mrs. Right.

There is no Mr. and Mrs. Right, but there is Mr. and Mrs. Right and Wrong. We should accept imperfections of our spouses to make him/her Mr./Mrs. Right. This sense of acceptance requires commitment. You should be committed to keep your relationship going no matter the odds.
"Keep your ring and be Always Happily Married! It is not only easier; it is what you pledged to and be celebrated" -
Norman Csa
i - Founder of Build My Marriage
http://www.buildmymarriage.com