New Etiquette or Just Plain Laziness?

Perhaps I’m feeling a bit sensitive to this topic at the moment, as I recently had a holiday party at my home. A party to which numerous people did not RSVP and some who responded positively, didn’t attend – with no apology or explanation. But, my thoughts did not start with this event. I’ve been noticing a lack of etiquette and general consideration for some time now.

Apparently, I’m not alone. In talking with friends, colleagues and doing some web searches, it seems this lack of social graces has become chronic. Even businesses are finding it necessary to teach their employees how to act and interact in a socially acceptable manner.

What happened to the basic consideration of keeping your word? Why do people say they’ll get back to you and then make little or no effort to do so? How long does it take to RSVP to an invitation? How long to make a quick phone call or at least a short e-mail? There has been much speculation on the role of the Internet and I’m sure it has at least something to do with this situation. On the other hand, the Internet should make it easier to, at least, inform others of your plans and intentions or if a situation has caused you to change them. The idea that this is more prevalent in the younger generation is, from my observations, incorrect. In fact, I’ve found several of the younger people I’ve been interacting with to be more socially considerate. The reality is that this inconsideration crosses all generations and genders.

I’m still at a loss as to how and why this is happening. I don’t want to think that so many have gotten selfish and inconsiderate. Perhaps, life has just gotten too busy or at least is perceived to be so. Perhaps people have just forgotten how much consideration and kindness matter and how it impacts others.

Despite my frustration, I know there’s not much I can do to change others. I will point it out and hope a few people will work a bit harder to be more socially considerate – in personal life and business. I will, for my part, continue to be socially considerate. Maybe some will appreciate it and “pay it forward” creating a ripple of improvement. However, I also know that I’m becoming more impatient. Some people who repeatedly don’t RSVP will likely find themselves without an invitation, next time. I also have a limited amount of time in my life and I’m going to focus on giving it to those that are considerate of it.

Several years ago, after a family crisis, I realized that I spent much time trying to do for many people, often not having the time to give to those who really count and are also there for me. I made a New Year’s resolution to be more considerate and give more time to those that matter and put other’s on a “waiting list” (Actually, I used less delicate wording – not for print) I think it’s time to revisit that resolution.

In all fai
ess, I must say that that there are those that still have strong social graces. I just received two lovely hand written thank you notes from friends who attended my party.