On Being Joyful

Well, you knew we couldn’t have yesterday’s post, “On Being Sad,” without having today’s post: On Being Joyful. That’s because when “Sad” happens, it is in large part as a consequence of our circumstances. Something has occurred, or some one has behaved in a way that perhaps brought sadness. But when Joy happens, it is because we emit it from within…and shine it outward.

Yesterday, we shared with you why we were sad. Today, we’re sharing with you why joy always overcomes, and some exercises to nudge it along. First, joy overcomes our sadness not because its easy, but because it is hard. And that difficulty is what gives us the measuring stick to help us:

Have compassion for others who are experiencing their own challengesr
Laser-in on all the good around us (look around-there are miracles all over the place and you may be missing them)
Have gratitude for all the crappiness. Yes, it shapes us far more than our victories.
Become more resilient and accepting.

See, overcoming sadness to let our joy shine again is what we as humans are naturally wired to do. Even when circumstances feel so heavy and near impossible to overcome, God created us to innately get back to good. We are not created for bad things- we are created for incredibly good things. And while our paths will certainly not be easy, they are all worthwhile. Our paths, even when slippery and muddy, are all intended to help us get to exactly where we are supposed to be. Wherever you are on your path right now, albeit next to a perilous cliff or a green pasture, that is exactly where you are supposed to be….for now. So if you are on one of the “sad” areas of your path, know that you are never alone. Even when it feels like it, which is most of the time. We know. If you are still having trouble figuring out how you can ever be happy again, here are a few tips:

Enlist a friend, family member, mentor, coach, or faith leader to walk with you. While there are some exceptions, this generally needs to be someone you already knew and trusted prior to your current challenge and they need to meet 2 criteria: First, they must have your best interests in mind- not their own. Secondly, they must have the wisdom to help you and hold you accountable, if needed. Remember, they need to fit BOTH criteria because wisdom without your best interest in mind can make you susceptible to being taken advantage of. On the other hand, someone may love you deeply, but if they lack the necessary knowledge to help you, you are open to loving but bad advice. See why you need both?

Take 10 minutes. Set a timer. Write without stopping every memory, every movie line, every joke, every situation that you can remember from your earliest days to present–that made you laugh. Think about all the super-happy-LOL moments that you’ve had, even if everything you write down seems like decades ago. Go where you have the most laughing moments, without any judgement of whether or not its still funny to you. If you laughed then and it came up in this exercise, write it down. After your time is up, re-read. Soak it up. Feel what that physical smile does to you, even if you had to force it to begin with. Your laughter is contagious, and so is your smile.

If you are still wondering how to kickstart that joy that overflows out of you, try this laughter Skype laughter chain. Watch the entire video and see just how contagious a good laugh is.

There’s much more to share with you in the coming days, or within our coaching programs. Until then, here’s to reaching deep into our sadness and saying thank you for that challenge….but you’ve shaped me enough for now. I’ll put you away in a little box for now because I have to open up this much bigger box now…its called Joy.